


saros

by ad_meliora101, orphan_account



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angsty and Conflicted Zuko, Brave and Noble Mai, F/M, Love is complicated, Mai is Zuko’s wife and Katara is also Zuko’s wife, Mai is dying, Political Alliances, Political Marriage, Soulmates, Strangers to Lovers, War, Zuko and Katara dream each other’s memories, determined katara, has some dark moments, this story has questionable aspects and it’s not for everyone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:20:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 34,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27851582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ad_meliora101/pseuds/ad_meliora101, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A young Lord rules a divided nation with his dying wife. The sages speak of a woman from across the seas who will heal their broken land. He does not ask for her but she comes to his home like the evening rain.
Relationships: Katara & Mai (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 78
Kudos: 139





	1. I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is angsty and dark. It is a soulmate AU but it does not play out the way you would expect. I'm well aware that this story is not for everyone but I hope some people are able to enjoy it.

Fire Lord Zuko looks out the window for the sun and cannot find it. It is hidden behind the clouds and the city has taken a greyish hue. 

If his grandfather Fire Lord Azulon were here he would say to cancel the wedding and reschedule. 

He can almost hear his voice in his head, _A Fire Lord must marry at high noon shrouded in Agni’s light._

But his grandfather is dead, as is his father, Admiral Prince Ozai and his cousin, Lieutenant Colonel Prince Lu Ten. 

They are gone, ashes. 

Those who remain- his uncle, mother, and sister- wear painted and strained smiles. The three of them, each dragons in their own way, argued with him for months.

His spirit sensitive uncle spoke in low tones about the winds of destiny and the hand of fate. 

His mother would gently touch his hand and reference the fragile state of world affairs over tea. Uncle would nod along as she would slip in that an alliance would do the Fire Nation much good. 

His sister did not mince words, she believed he and Mai were foolish for wanting to marry. Azula was certain that they were much too young and while Mai might be a good wife, she would not make a good Fire Lady. 

He knows at times his family wishes for more from him. That he be governed by his mind instead of his heart and soul. He is thankful for their counsel and often heeds their advice but on this matter he will not budge. He will take Mai as his wife. 

His red and white wedding robe shifts in the wind as he walks towards the temple to offer a prayer to Agni. 

He kneels before the large statue and whispers the sacred words. 

As he turns to leave, he is stopped by an old sage. 

“Your majesty, I fear you have angered Agni and his wife.” 

Zuko stiffens under the old man’s gaze, a chill running down his spine. 

The sage continues, “Your red string is tied to another…” 

The Fire Lord turns away from the old man, looking at the fineries of the temple. 

The sage notes the Fire Lord's reaction. “You already know this," the sage pauses, "but you continue on.” 

“I love her, I do not want another.” 

“It is not about want or need, fate decided such things long before you were born.” 

Zuko is a stubborn man, he knows that well. He has spent his whole life defying others to chart his own path. The sage's words give him pause but his life is his own not the gods. 

“Goodbye, I must go. May Agni bless you.” 

“May Agni bless you, your majesty. A thousand years of blessing for you and your house.” 

As Zuko leaves the temple, the old sage whispers a prayer to Agni. That the great god will not turn away from the Fire Lord and their nation. 

* * *

At his wedding feast he cannot take his eyes off his bride. Mai is beautiful with her glossy hair, tawny eyes, and soft smile. _Spirits_ , he thinks, _her rare smile is brighter than the stars._

A gentle manicured hand is placed on his knee. Mai whispers in a stern voice, “Stop staring, have a portrait done." Her voice lifts when she adds, "It will last longer.” 

He knows his grin is large but he cannot hold in his happiness, it is almost bursting out of him when he leans in towards her. “I _will_ have a portrait done. Actually, I will fill the halls with portraits of you. I would replace all the dignified portraits of my ancestors with portraits of you if I could.” 

Her soft smile widens and he can feel himself drowning in her piercing eyes and soft blush. “I thought you would stop acting this way once we were wed.” 

“How am I acting?” 

“Like a big sap.” 

He laughs and is about to reply when Ty Lee comes over pushing them to dance. 

And they dance but only once, twirling and circling each other under the lights of the grand hall. 

Looking at Mai, his heart throbs with fierce joy; he cannot understand how the spirits could ever want anything else for him. 

His childhood dreams of penguin sledding, a teasing older brother, a mother’s silvery voice, a father's warm hugs, and spirit tales around the fire matter nothing to him. 

The life he has is far better than whatever the spirits or _she_ could give him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each chapter will be less than 1,000 words as a challenge to myself. This story takes place in a total AU. The 100 year war never happened so Aang is an elderly man living in the Southern Temple. The Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom have been at war with various armistices over the years.
> 
> This whole fic was partially inspired by a piece of artwork by Irrel: https://www.deviantart.com/irrel/art/85-She-Zutara-64458080


	2. II

The glass hits the wall and shatters, the glittering fragments and honey liquid falling to the ground. 

“Damn them all to Koh’s lair!” He shouts as his chest rises and falls in frustration. The Dragon Throne was not meant to be held by a weak ruler. Just as fire itself refuses to bend to just anyone, Zuko has to prove through his strength of self and conduct that he is worthy to hold the throne. By his own estimation, he is failing in that endeavor. 

A quiet sigh is let out behind him and he turns to see Mai leaning in the doorway clad in a black night robe with gold accents. She takes undemanding steps towards him and stands at his side. With her elegant and slender figure and his lean and wiry one, they looked distinguished standing at each other’s side at official functions. Her illness has kept her away from court events and the people anxiously await her reappearance. 

“How much did you see?” Zuko breaths and flushes slightly. 

“Enough.” Mai replies. Her eyes take in her husband’s slouching form. “Are you okay?”

He walks closer to his wife, cupping her cheek in his warm hand. Under the soft light of the office, he can see the strain of her illness written on her face. Her soft hair has lost its luster and her creamy skin has turned gaunt. There is a dullness in what once glimmered. 

“No, dearheart I am not okay. That Agni-forsaken bastard Long Feng captured part of the Hu Xin provinces from us. Ever since he helped the Northerners take over the South Pole and imprisoned the Southern Chief and his wife in Ba Sing Se, they have helped him take several of the major Southern Kingdoms. We still control Omashu but now it is just us, Gaoling, and Kyoshi Island against them. And Kyoshi Island has been non-aligned for centuries so they will never join with us, not unless they are directly threatened.”

One thing that has not changed over the years is Mai’s bored expression when he spoke of his duties. He quickly says, “I know you do not care to hear of it but this blasted war is driving me mad.”

“You are right, I do not care to hear of it.” 

Zuko lets out a soft sigh at her reply. 

With a wry smile, Mai says, “Where did dearheart come from? If you are going to start calling me that I might as well go ahead and die.”

At her sharp words, his heart twists in anger and pain. He rushes away from her to sit behind his desk and bites his fist as he tries to calm himself. He hunches his body over in the chair and sits silently. 

Mai comes up next to him and rubs his shoulders. 

“I’m sorry, Zuko. That wasn’t funny,” Mai says with a soft gaze. 

“On what planet would that be funny? Who jokes about their own death with their husband?” Zuko chokes out as he pushes his loose hair out of his face.

“We both know-”

“Stop, okay. Just stop.” He whispers as he looks up at his wife with pained eyes.

“You are getting better.” The firebender declares, more to himself than to her. 

His wife narrows her eyes at him and coolly states, “Today I drank six disgusting concoctions so I could have enough energy to walk from my bedroom across a corridor to your office without collapsing. What a great improvement!”

Zuko rubs his temples and exhales. He stammers, “Do you not like Healer Aoi? I can ask Healer Kenji to come back from Shuhon. I- I can even find someone else. Someone better.”

Mai wraps her arms around his neck and presses kisses into his hair, what she often did when she wanted him to calm down. They had gone through all the respected healers of the Fire Nation and the colonies. Her mother had even pushed them to search for mystics, which ended terribly to no one's surprise. Healer Aoi was well-respected and was not too invasive with her techniques. Mai felt comfortable with her and did not wish to change healers but if it made Zuko feel better to search for one, she would let him. Zuko derived comfort from feeling busy, from helping others. Which was something she did not relate to but after years of knowing him, understood.

She replies in a subdued voice, “Alright, Zuko. You can find someone better for me. Good night.”

“Good night,” Zuko replies as he taps his fingers on his desk watching his wife leave the room.

Later, in his bedroom he drinks his special blend of tea. He has not dreamt of icecaps and glaciers since he was sixteen and will not start again, especially not tonight. Outside of his chambers, the full moon is high above the sky blanketing his garden in its soft glow. It reminds him of his youth when he used to look up at the moon and hope that _she_ was looking at it with him. 

As Zuko drifts off to sleep, he wonders if _she_ is a Southerner or a Northerner, if _she_ is now an enemy of his people. He thinks to himself that he is better off without having to dream _her_ life, having to deal with both _her_ life and his own but he is not so sure. He is sure of very little these days. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left kudos! I hope you all continue reading this story. The next chapter will be about Katara.


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara dreams and dreams and dreams until one day she doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dark and contains some torture.

Katara does not know a life without her dreams. She has lived in the South Pole her entire life, surrounded by a powdery sea. Yet deep in her heart, she intimately knows the feel of a warm sun and golden sand.

In her dreams, she would travel to a different world, a different life. In her old life she was a boy named Zuko. She lived in a large house with walls of crimson and gold. She would sit in the arms of a kind woman falling asleep to stories of dragons and queens, river spirits and warriors. Her mother in her old life had pale skin, black hair, and eyes that reminded her of honey. Her father was a tall man, who walked the halls dressed in red and black. He didn’t smile often with his lips but she saw a twinkle of happiness in his eyes when their family spent time together. Her younger sister _Lala_ would tease her as they ran through their gardens and help her sneak sweets out of the kitchen. 

In that life, her cousin taught her how to swim. His name was Lu Ten and he joked and smiled freely, tickling her side during morning prayers. Her uncle was a kind man who smelled of jasmine and taught her to play pai sho. He was away often and it always made her heart hurt to see him go. Her grandfather was a tall man with a striking crown, she would bow to him during important events. She liked it when he called her princeling and gave her cinnamon candies during feast days. 

She went to a large school but was shy with only two or three friends each term; she did not mind because she preferred her family over most of the school children. In the summers, she would sit under the starry sky as her father made pictures in the flames to go along with her mother’s tales. She knew the feeling of fire in her veins and swords at her side. She was not a prodigy like others in her family but always worked hard to master all the forms. 

Katara loves her old life just as much as she loves her new life in the South Pole. She loves the Fire Days Festival just as much as the New Moon Celebration, the classic plays just as much as the Southern spirit tales, and generating the flame just as much as the push and pull of the waves. 

In her village, the others would gather around to hear tales of her old life around the fire. The children and adults listen intently as she describes Fire Nation food and culture. Her dad and mom jokingly ask her which family she loves more. Even Sokka expresses interest in her stories about sword fighting as she teaches him what she can remember from her lessons with Master Piandao. 

* * *

It is under a cloudless sky that she learns her true relationship with Zuko. 

As she is walking home from bending practice, the shaman stops her.

He looks at her with wide curious eyes and says, “Your soulmate is from the Fire Nation. Isn’t he?”

She scrunches her face and says, “My soulmate?”

“You have Agni’s touch on you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Do you dream of the Fire Nation?”

“Yes, but only because my past life was a Fire Nation boy.”

“That is not your past life. He is a boy living right now and is your soulmate.”

Katara stares at the older man, taking in what he said. 

(She isn’t Zuko? He is a boy living right now in the Fire Nation? A boy she could meet? Her _soulmate_?)

“Your soulmate is the one the spirits chose for you. He is the sun to your moon. He is the one who will love you unconditionally. You dream his life because it is meant for you both to share. You are one spirit in two bodies.”

“When will I see him?” She blurts out as she wonders what kind of life the two of them will have together. 

With a hearty laugh, the old man says, “When you are older. You have a lot of growing to do before then. You both must live your own lives before the spirits bring you together.”

As she walks away from the shaman, she can almost feel the warmth of the summer sky. 

* * *

She is ten when she dreams of Zuko’s first kiss. It is a mild spring day with a slight breeze and Zuko is sitting under a maple tree reading _Love Amongst the Dragons_. He looks up to see Mai walking towards him. Mai is a quiet girl, one of Azula’s two close friends. Katara has known that Mai liked Zuko for a while, even though she is sure Zuko has no idea. Mai sits down next to him and her red ribbons tickle his cheek as she leans in to press a soft kiss against his lips. Mai’s lips are warm and she smells like mangoes. Before Zuko can even speak, a flushed-face Mai runs away-back towards Azula’s room. 

When she wakes, Katara feels a sharp prick of jealousy in her heart. Zuko is _her_ soulmate, even though he lives far away he shouldn’t be kissing other girls. 

She spends the rest of the day pouting and throws snowballs at Sokka as he practices with his boomerang. After Sokka shoos her away, she sees Panuk, one of Sokka's friends, building a snowman. Without even thinking, she runs up to him and plants a kiss on his lips before running off. 

She doesn’t get what the big deal is about kissing (it still seems kind of gross) but she hopes that Zuko thinks twice before he lets Mai kiss him again. 

* * *

Dreaming Zuko’s life is like touching the sky, Katara feels as if she is gliding over life. She feels so close to him, like there is something strong and sure connecting her heart to his. Katara is fourteen when she begins to fall back to earth. 

For months, she had dreamed of the crisp ocean and Zuko’s ship as he patrolled the seas. In her last dream, his father, the Admiral, was visiting his ship to evaluate his progress. She knew that Zuko was nervous and sometimes felt stifled under the weight of his family’s expectations. He longed so much to prove himself and she wishes that she could hug him and tell him how proud she was of him. 

As she falls asleep, she can immediately tell that this dream will be different. 

She does not smell the sea salt of the ocean or feel the breeze against her face. Wherever Zuko is, it is cold and dark. He seems to be deep underground. 

_He is shivering and his teeth are chattering. He runs his hands along the cold floor and screams out for someone, anyone._

_The door opens and a man walks in, encased in shadow. His hatred of the man is her own._

_“What do you want, Fong?” He spits out._

_A loathsome grin appears on the man’s face. In the darkness, his green eyes almost glow._

_"Your father needs some encouragement. You will be providing that.”_

_The guards drag him to a room, the soles of his bare feet are scraped by the hard floor, his blood leaves a trail behind him._

_His mind is swirling from the lack of food and water but he feels the chains that they put on his hands and feet._

_He feels a brutal tug on his hair and half-whimpers from the force of it. The hand pulls his head upwards to look ahead of him. His eyes adjust to the low light and he sees another man sitting across from him. He nearly screams when he recognizes the man as his father._

_His father’s long black hair is caked with blood. His eyes are swollen over and his regal nose is broken. His cracked lips open slightly and he takes shallow breaths._

_“Admiral Ozai, this is the last time I will ask you this: Where is your brother?”_

_“Fong, I already told you that I don’t know! What I do know is that my son and I are the direct bloodline descendants of Agni. You come from a line of illiterate peasants and your blood is not worthy to ever stand over us! Release us before my family hears of this. Once they learn of this fire and blood will rain down on this land!” Ozai shouts._

_“Your highness, only you can save your son and yourself. Not your brother, not your father, and certainly not your god." Fong's eyes narrow at Ozai and he walks closer to Zuko. "Let’s see if you have anything to say after this.”_

_Fong motions for a guard to move towards Zuko. Panic begins to spread through his-her-their body as he-she-they see the pair of pliers the guard is holding. Shouts of no and please ring out in a cracked voice he has not heard in years._

_He feels two other guards pressing his body into the chair to keep him still. He is shaking as the panic grows stronger and blood pounds in his-her-their ears. The guard presses the pliers against his-her-their fingernail and pulls and he-she-they scream._

“Katara!” A voice cuts through her dream. Her eyes shoot open and she feels someone shaking her slightly. She looks and sees her mom crowding around her. 

“What happened?” Katara whimpers. 

“Katara, you were screaming in your sleep.” Her mom says in a soft whisper and pulls Katara into her arms. 

“Screaming?”

“Little fish, you were screaming at the top of your lungs! It must have been a terrible nightmare.”

“No, it wasn’t a nightmare.” She mutters as she looks into her mom’s calm eyes. She remembers it all, the fear, the pain, the hunger. The sight of their-no- _his_ father being bloodied and tortured. “My… my soulmate, someone from the Earth Kingdom was torturing him.” She cries out. 

The sobs wrack through her body as her mom pulls her closer, trying to calm her.

Katara does not sleep the rest of that night or the next. She just sits with her legs tucked underneath her and her arms wrapped around herself. 

The next time she dreams, he is in the same cold and dark place. They are hurting him again. She tries to wake up, to do something, to stop watching, hearing, and feeling his-her-their pain. 

_His mind swirls as hard and cold stones are placed on his stomach, pressing into him._

_He hears speaking but the voices are muffled. Questions are being shouted at him._

_“Where is your uncle?”_

_“What does he have planned?”_

_His head is swirling as he-she-they struggle to breathe. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen my uncle in two years!”_

_“Maybe you need a refresher.” Fong says as another weight is placed on top of him; the tightness increases as darkness swirls at the edge of his eyes._

_They splash cold water on him to keep him awake as they continue to scream questions at him._

_Fong laughs darkly as he reads a note. “Your highness, we have some news of your family.”_

_The man immediately continues, “Your cousin was killed in Taku. Ambushed by colonials loyal to the Earth Kingdom. I guess even among your half-breed traitors, there are still some who remember whose land they live on.”_

_It feels as if a thousand shards of glass are piercing his heart but he cannot scream or cry. He can hardly breathe or think._

_In a bout of defiance, he shouts out, “Do you know what this means? My uncle will make your kingdom a pyre for his son. Ba Sing Se to Omashu will burn!”_

_Fong barks, “I don’t want to do this but you and your father have left me with no other choice!”_

_The guards remove the stones from his chest and sit him up._

_The older man begins to circle him, cradling small rocks in his hand. Fong leans towards him and gazes into his eyes._

_“You have the gold eyes. Silly Earth Kingdom fillies always talk about how attractive the Fire Nation eyes are. I wonder what they would think if you had one instead of two?”_

_“Fong, what the fuck are you say-” Zuko cannot finish his sentence because all he feels is lancinating pain._

Katara wakes up placing her hand over her left eye and screams out Zuko’s name over and over again. This time her mom, dad, and brother rush into the room to calm her but try as they might she does not calm. 

* * *

She and Hakoda sit before the old shaman, the same one from all those years ago. 

“Please, give my daughter something to stop these dreams. She is being terrorized night after night.”

“I won’t take anything!”

“Why?” Hakoda pleads. 

“His pain is my own pain. I feel everything he feels deep in my heart.” Katara exclaims. 

The shaman sighs and gives her the blend of various roots to take to stop the dreams. He watches her with sad eyes and right as she leaves, he presses a bone talisman into her palm. 

"Your love will be safe as long as you keep this above your heart."

To Hakoda's chagrin, Gran-Gran comes to their igloo and chastises him for trying to force Katara to give up her connection to Zuko. Her father is silent with hard eyes and her mother is solemn as they listen to Gran-Gran explain the great gift that Tui and her husband Agni have given Katara. 

She goes to sleep with her hand pressed over the bone talisman just above her heart. Katara whispers a prayer to all the gods and spirits who will listen for Zuko and his father's safety. 

When she finally falls asleep she does not dream. She does not dream the next night nor the night after that. She never dreams of Zuko again. 

* * *

With the wind in her face, she sneaks onto a kayak. She has no idea where she is going but she knows she cannot save Zuko from the Southern Water Tribe. She is not far off when she hears the voices of Sokka, her dad, and Bato shouting after her. 

She considers going on but she truly has no idea where she is going and returns towards home. 

Later, she sits in her igloo drinking warm tea. She can see the strain in her dad's shoulders and the tension in his jaw. Sokka is pacing across the floor, nervous energy all around him. Her mom had cried for a long time but had stopped and sits with her arms wrapped around Katara. 

The only words she can muster are, "I just wanted to save him."

The next day, she kicks at the snow in front of their igloo, just walking in circles as she wonders about Zuko. 

Sokka is hard-faced as he comes up to her and starts yelling about how ridiculous it was to try to run off into a war-torn country in search of someone whose face she wouldn't even recognize. 

Katara knows how foolish she was, how short-sighted her idea was, how she wouldn't have ever been able to find Zuko. She doesn't need to hear all that again from Sokka. Not Sokka, the boy who got two fish hooks stuck in his thumb. 

She shouts, “I love him! Do you understand what that feels like?”

“No, I guess I don’t,” Sokka replies with a resigned sigh. 

She watches as her brother returns to their igloo and she stands alone, breathing out the cold air. 

* * *

Katara sits with her legs crossed under her in the shaman's hut looking over at him from across an open fire. She looks around at the various skins and furs lining the walls.

In a hoarse voice, the old man says, “Close your eyes and center yourself. Think of the happy memories of his life and draw them in towards you.”

She thinks of Ember Island, the feast days, the dances, and his mother's laugh. 

“Do you feel that tug?” She nods as she starts to become overwhelmed by his life, by her love for him.

“Keep pulling the memories towards you.”

The flame in the hut starts growing and brightens from a deep red to an orange with whitish edges. 

“Do not worry. Your soulmate still lives. If he were dead then the flame would have died out, instead it strengthened.”

She pulls her arms tight against her as she returns home. 

Her heartbeat is loud and strong, thumping along as she whispers one phrase over and over again. 

_Zuko is alive. Zuko is alive. Zuko is alive._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said 1,000 words but I had to increase the word count for this chapter to make sense. I think I might give myself a max of 3,000 words per chapter. So, we finally get to see Katara's perspective. I hope her connection to Zuko makes a little more sense. If it's unclear, she doesn't just watch Zuko's life, she experiences his memories as if they are truly her own. You can also partially see why Zuko would have stopped sharing his life with her. Thank you for the kudos and comment!


	4. IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is quite dark. Includes references to torture, war, violence, and murder.

“Great Sage Shyu, I was told you would like to speak with me?”

“Yes, Prince Iroh, thank you for taking the time to meet with me. Please come sit with me in the courtyard.”

The two men sit in the cool shade of the temple courtyard. As he sips, Prince Iroh pauses to take in the soft sweetness of his white tea. 

“Your highness, I’ve prayed about your nephew and consulted the ancient texts. I know now that the presence you felt around the child is not malicious.” Shyu states plainly. 

Iroh sets down his cup and gazes into the man’s eyes. Iroh’s brows are pinched and there is a slight edge to his usually calm demeanor. Iroh clears his throat and queries, “Well what is the presence?”

The sage is silent, allowing the royal to continue. Iroh’s voice hardens, “My nephew is only two years old, what do they want with him!” 

Shyu has a quiet calm in his amber eyes and keeps his voice steady and light to allay the prince's fears. “Agni’s wife Tui has her touch on him. Every 2,000 years, the two great gods pick a pair of mortals to represent their love in our time.”

Iroh is silent, still unsure of what to make of this development. Shyu quickly states, “Your nephew is blessed beyond measure.”

“Great Sage Shyu, I believe in childhood I heard some of this tale but would you please tell me more. My sister-in-law is quite nervous. At the child’s birthday, suddenly in the middle of playing with the other children, he walked over to the pond. He stared at the water for several minutes and shrieked if anyone tried to move him, then he lost interest and returned to play.” 

“Ah, so he is the older of the two of them.”

“What?”

“At that moment he stared at the pond, his soulmate was taking her first breaths. They are sun and moon, fire and water, day and night-they are two halves of one whole. His connection to the opposing element and to her was just being established at that time.” Shyu continues, “Prince Iroh, have you ever read _The Dance of the Sun and Moon_?”

Prince Iroh leaves the temple and heads towards his brother’s residence with a scroll under his arm. 

That night, Prince Zuko is nestled in bed next to Princess Ursa as she tells her son the tale. 

_Long ago, there was a war brewing between those who worshiped the moon and those who worshiped the sun. Agni and Tui heard the cries of their people but before giving their blessings for battle, they asked their worshipers to give them two week’s time to meet and attempt to solve the issue. The two gods had never met before but took mortal forms at meet on the Black Cliffs. From the moment they saw each other they fell in love. They forgot about the pending war and their divided people, all they thought about was each other. They continued to meet and Agni courted her pearls combs, obsidian earrings, and ruby rings. Tui gave him gifts of seafood and whale tooth daggers. At the end of those two weeks, they married secretly in one of the coves of Ember Island. They met the two leaders of their people and created a peace agreement that lasted for millennials to come. Agni, to keep his love from ever feeling lonely, scatters the night sky with their children, the stars. The story is never ending because every two thousands years, the two gods choose two mortals to remind the world of the strength and power of love._

Princess Ursa adjusts the blankets around her sleeping son and presses a soft kiss to his cheek. She whispers, “This time they chose you.” 

* * *

In the great royal gardens, two children spin around in circles as fast as they can until they fall to the ground in laughter. 

They sit under a white dogwood tree, eating fire flakes as their governess plays the pipa. 

Azula pops fire flakes into her mouth as her brother tells her stories of the Water Tribe. Azula swallows the fire flakes and declares, “There’s nothing fun about living on some block of ice in the middle of nowhere.”

Zuko puts down his fire flakes and quickly defends the Water Tribe, “It’s fun! They go penguin-sledding and her mom tells her stories like our mom does. Everyone is really nice and they all help each other.” 

Azula notes her brother’s immediate reaction and raises a delicate eyebrow. She smirks, “You sound like you want to live there!”

Zuko looks down and begins pulling at the grass. He stammers, “I’m not sure where I want to live.”

The princess leans back against the tree and crosses her arms. “Wait, so if the tribal girl asks you to go and live all the way over there, you will?”

“You always call her tribal girl, water girl, waterbender, or peasant. Her name is Katara!”

“Fine, _Katara._ If Katara asks, would you go live there?”

“Why can’t I live both here and there? I’m sure she’ll come here and like it, just like I do.”

“What are you two arguing about this time?” The two children turn as they hear the smooth voice of their father. They stand up and bow as their parents stand before them in the gardens. Prince Ozai turns his eyes towards their governess and the young woman leaves to allow the family privacy. 

“Mom, Dad, you are back!” Zuko exclaims as he walks closer to them and Ursa cups her son's cheek. 

The Admiral places a gentle hand on Azula’s shoulder as she approaches. The young princess furrows her brow, “I thought you two would still be at Chancellor Enlai’s garden party. Did you already secure his support for the new military entrance exams?”

Princess Ursa tilts her head and slightly smiles as she says, “Yes, we secured his support but you know your father can only tolerate so much of the court. Not long after the Chancellor agreed, we left.”

Ozai lets out a sigh, “Those insipid people babble on and on, I’m surprised I don’t have a brain aneurysm from being around them.”

The family laughs as the parents join their children under the dogwood tree. 

Ursa gently pushes back the stray hairs into Zuko’s phoenix plume. “Now, tell your father and I what you two were talking about.” 

Ozai pushes his long hair over his shoulder. “Yes, I bet it is much more interesting than the pitiful poems we were forced to listen to at Enlai’s party.”

With a mischievous grin on her face, Azula says, “Zuko’s girlfriend.”

Zuko blushes as deeply as his red clothes. “She’s not my girlfriend, she’s my soulmate!”

“I hope you realize that’s worse not better.” Azula replies.

* * *

In the grand dining room of their Ember Island home, the royal family sits enjoying red tea and pork dumplings. 

Ozai clears his throat and looks across the table at his son. “Zuko, have you learned anything about their military from your dreams?”

“Ozai!” Ursa exclaims. 

“Dear, please let the boy answer first," Ozai replies. 

Zuko bites his lip and he thinks of the gentle wind, the feathering layers of white, and the smiling faces of the other villagers. “Father, I don’t think she lives in the main city.” The boy begins to bite his lip again but stops himself. “Her village seems small and isolated. Her father trains warriors but it doesn’t seem like they are training for anything serious.”

Ozai puts his chin in his hand and he looks over at the Fire Lord, sitting at the head of the table. “Father, this could be good for us. With Zuko’s soulmate being of their people, we can get the Northerners to ally with us over the Earth Kingdom.”

Azulon sets down his tea and looks over at Iroh before turning towards Ozai. The older man speaks in a firm voice. “Son, Avatar Aang has an agreement with both us and the Earth Kingdom to not involve the tribes in our war. Even without that agreement, the Northerners would never ally with the Earth Kingdom. They are proud people, as we are.” And with a scowl, the old Lord says, “They will not follow kingslayers and thieves.” 

Iroh gently says, "Brother, I have to agree with Father. The Water Tribes have no interest in making war, they have kept to themselves for years. Both tribes know that this war is between us and the Earth Kingdom."

Ozai maintains, “Father, that agreement was made with the Earth King not with Long Feng and his league of scoundrels. The Northerners have the ability and the resources to involve themselves in this war. They have lost control of the South Pole generations ago and if they believe the Earth Kingdom can help them regain influence over there, they would side with them. Now, I’m not saying we have to involve ourselves in their internal squabbles but an agreement of neutrality supported by Zuko's marriage would benefit us greatly. I really think-”

Azulon interrupts his son. Sharply, he says, “Ozai, can we enjoy one meal without your theories? Save this talk for the war council, not in front of the children.”

“My apologies, Father.” Ozai quickly replies as Ursa places a gentle hand on his knee. 

Azulon fixes his gaze on Zuko and Azula and the edge of his lips slightly turn upwards. “Now, you two little dragons, go play! It is too beautiful a day to sit in here."

Azula and Zuko do not need to be told twice and run out into the bright courtyard. They grab their kites, take off their shoes, and walk onto the beach. All talks of war and treaties forgotten. 

* * *

Zuko goes through his katas, remembering the movements. He does them just as he was taught, quick and sharp movements but something inside him wants to do them differently. 

He closes his eyes and thinks of Katara. He remembers the feeling of her fluid and graceful movements, as he-she-they felt water flow around them. 

He tries the katas again but what instead of quick and sharp movements, he slows his body and rounds his movements to increase the fluidity. The fire begins to flow around him like running water. 

A gasp is let out behind him and the boy drops the flames. He turns and sees Iroh standing there in awe. 

The young boy bows and stammers, "Hello, Uncle. I did not see you there. I hope you are well."

The great dragon returns the bow and takes unhurried steps towards his nephew. 

"Your bending," Iroh begins, "Did you learn that from... _Katara_? That is her name, right?"

Zuko flushes slightly, "Yes, Uncle. Her name is Katara." The boy looks down at the courtyard floor and shifts his weight to his other leg. "She didn't teach me exactly. I just remembered her movements from my dream and decided to copy them."

The young boy rubs his neck with his hand and hesitantly says, "Is that okay? I mean, my tutors have taught me the various Fire Island styles but no one has ever said anything about copying other benders, especially since waterbending is our opposite." 

The general replies, "Is it okay? No, it's not."

Zuko pauses and looks up at his uncle, unsure of what to say. Iroh lets out a deep belly laugh. He exclaims, "It is more than okay, it is brilliant! Absolutely brilliant, Prince Zuko! Because of Katara, you have learned something that often takes the great masters decades to learn if they ever learn it at all.”

"What's that?" Zuko asks. 

"How important it is to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale. Understanding others, the other elements, and the other nations will help you become whole.”

Iroh places a gentle hand on his nephew's shoulder. "Now, little dragon, would you mind showing me the movement again?"

* * *

Zuko opens his closet and begins to take some items out of a bag. The family along with Mai and Ty Lee have just returned from Azula's tenth birthday celebrations on Ember Island. The young prince places some small trinkets: a shell game, a book of Fire spirit tales, a pearl comb, and a bamboo flute into a pine chest with fire lily motifs. 

“What are you doing?” Zuko nearly lets out a yelp as he hears his sister’s voice. 

“Azula, get out of here!” The prince exclaims as the princess looks in from outside his closet. 

Azula smiles as she stands over him and takes in the scene. She cups her chin and snickers, "What’s this? A secret chest for all your dumb romance scrolls and swords?” 

Zuko loudly closes the chest and walks out of the closet. “No! These are just some things for Katara when she comes here.” 

Azula pauses and Zuko watches as she begins to pace around the room in a small circle. She exaggerates her gestures, like the actors on Ember Island, and in a honeyed voice asks, “You have a chest of things for your _soulmate_? Do you want to marry her or something?”

Zuko fidgets with his shirt and says, “No! This is just for her when she visits. So she can feel comfortable.”

“You are doing a lot of planning for someone you’ve never seen before. How do you even know she'll like you? She'll probably think you are boring and weird.” 

“Shut up! You are just jealous you weren’t blessed by Agni!” 

Azula snorts, “I was blessed by Agni! My firebending is so much better than yours! Your little waterbender isn’t going to like you if you can’t bend well. Watch her come and want to be my friend instead!”

Zuko clenches his jaw, “She would never choose you over me. She cares for me!” 

“How do you know that? You’ve never even spoken to her!” 

“Because I care for her! And everything she feels I feel!” 

Azula snickers as Mai runs out from behind a column and flees the room. _Why was she even in here?_ Zuko thinks. _What kind of game is Azula playing?_

Azula pouts her lip and holds her palms out. “Aw, Zuzu, you've made Mai sad. You know she’s liked you for _years_.”

Zuko crosses his arms and says in a hard voice, “Mai doesn’t like me. Stop playing games.”

“Mai kissed you, of course she likes you! If anyone is playing games, it's you, Zuzu. You are so nice to Mai, literally all the time, and that made her think you liked her too.”

“Get out, Lala!” Zuko half-shouts. 

“Okay, Dum-Dum.”

Zuko flops on his bed and screams into a pillow as he runs his fingers over the silk. Into the pillow, he mumbles, “Azula always lies. Azula always lies. Azula always lies.”

* * *

Zuko taps his foot as he stands outside the Royal Fire Academy for Girls. He watches as the crowds of girls exit the gate. He narrows his eyes and runs when he sees the familiar hair buns and ribbons.

He runs up to Mai and blurts out, “Hi, Mai. I’m really sorry about what happened. You are a good friend to me and I deeply apologize for hurting your feelings. I understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore but I would like us to keep being friends."

Mai's face is neutral and she clutches her bag but does not make any outward reaction to Zuko's apology. The boy continues, "Do you want to sit by the fountain with me? I mean, my governess Akina will be there but she can take us to get fruit tarts from Mister Akio's bakery then walk us to the fountain.”

Mai blinks several times and speaks in a soft voice, “Right now? Sorry, Zuko but I’m going to Kirachu for the celebration of Avatar Roku. My family leaves this afternoon.”

“Oh, okay. I understand. My family is going to his island the day after tomorrow to celebrate with my mom's parents. Did you know he's my mom's grandfather? Sorry, of course you do, the whole country knows that."

Mai's lips slightly turn upwards and says, "When we come back, we can sit by the fountain. If you still want to."

"Really? That would be nice." He smiles at her, taking in how her hair looks in sunlight. "Well, um, bye Mai. I hope you and your family enjoy the festivities." The prince says as he turns back towards his palanquin. 

“Bye, Zuko.” Mai says with a soft blush. 

* * *

Lu Ten laughs as he watches his cousin buy lavender and cerulean silks. Zuko pays the shop owner and sets a date for the silks to be delivered to the palace. 

“Little cousin, you are only fifteen and this girl has you wrapped around your finger. You've never even met her! I can't wait to see what you will do when you begin courting her. Will you build her a new villa in the palace grounds? Will you dive into the sea to find pearls for her engagement comb?" Lu Ten teases. 

“Shut up! It is a crime to want her to have clothes in her native colors?” Zuko barks as he tries to hide his blush. 

“Yes, it is a crime. It's a crime to walk around staring at the moon like those love sick heroes in Aunt Ursa’s plays!" Lu Ten says with a wide grin. 

Zuko's blush deepens and he cannot come up with a reply as his cousin grabs his arm. "Now, come on. If you are late for receiving your commission, your parents will have my hide."

Later, Zuko stands on one of the balconies looking out at the illuminated city and the shimmering night sky. Soon he will be leaving home to see the world, traveling across the seas to lands unknown. A thought enters his mind and he smiles, perhaps on this journey, he could find Katara. The prince knows that she is too young to court and he still isn't sure if she is a Southerner or a Northerner but all he wants to do is see her, to be near her. Even though he has no idea what she looks like, something deep down in his bones tells him that he would recognize her at first sight. 

"The Wani was the ship I first served on when I was your age." A crisp voice states behind him. 

Zuko holds in a gasp and in a clear voice says, "Hello, Father. I did not expect you here."

Ozai stands near his son and meets his gaze. The Admiral stands upright and looks out towards the city, Zuko turns away from his father's face and matches his posture, looking out at the starry sky. 

In a firm voice, the Admiral says, "I was a haughty bastard who thought I knew everything and deserved everything because of our blood. But do you want to know what I learned? It is our blood that placed us above all the other families of our nation. But is it our will that keeps us here. We must show them that we are stronger and braver than they are. The people will not respect us if we do not. Blood and will, son. That must constantly be on your mind."

"Thank you, Father." Zuko replies quickly. 

Ozai softens his voice and speaks in a hushed tone. Zuko leans in towards his father to catch each word, “When I was away from your mother, we could write constantly. In one of her letters, she wrote that water cycles through the world and the same water I passed through would eventually reach her. Your mother and I were raised together, grew up sending coded messages back and forth, and our courtship and wedding became the stuff of legends in elite circles... but if it comforts you, I guess you can think of such a thing about you and your... _soulmate_.” 

“Th-thank you, Father.” Zuko stammers, slightly confused at his father for sharing such a thing with him. 

Ozai nods and walks away from the balcony, “As you were, Sub-Lieutenant Zuko.” 

* * *

"Katara," he breathes, "Oh, Katara."

Zuko's good eye widens as he takes in his surroundings. He is in a small house with a dirt floor. He looks above him and sees an older woman with curly black hair and grey eyes. 

He immediately sits up and crouches himself away from the woman, despite the pain he feels. "Who are you? How did I get here?" He shouts through the sharp pain in his right hand. 

The woman begins to speak to him in soft low tones. "I'm a healer. Someone found you at the edge of town and brought you here. You've been unconscious for over a week. I've healed most of your scars, broken ribs and your dislocated shoulder but your eye...it was too late for me to help with that. I'm sorry, I don't think you can recover your vision."

"Do you remember what happened to you? How were you injured?" The woman asks softly. 

He starts to sob because he remembers all of it. 

He remembers the pain, the dryness of his lips and throat, the shiver that entered his bones from being so far away from Agni's light.

He remembers his dreams of weaving baskets, riding penguins, and kayaking. Those dreams kept his mind from leaving him, kept him aware that there was a world outside of his pain. 

He remembers the old cook who would give them extra food and pitied them so much that helped them escape. 

He remembers his father taking his last shallow breaths in his arms as he whispered to Zuko to burn them all. 

He remembers performing his father's funeral rites in the old tongue and burning him to ashes. 

He remembers washing the blood, sweat, saliva, and other fluids off of himself in the river. 

He remembers walking barefoot in rags to the town and fainting at the gate. 

The pain comes pierce and sharp into his heart yet blunt and heavy like a stone. His voice is so hoarse, his cries only come out in whimpers.

The healer leaves him alone in his grief. Later, she returns with soup and has a soft look in her eyes. 

She heals him in silence for the first two days and then begins to question him. 

“Katara is a Water Tribe name. You were calling out for her when I was healing you. Is she your lover?”

Zuko is silent. 

“So Katara isn't your lover but you want her to be.” The woman states. 

Zuko scoffs, “Thank you for healing me but I don’t think I owe you my life story.”

“I’m sure if you ask her to marry you, she’ll say yes.” The woman says as if she did not hear what Zuko just said. 

Zuko is tired and he hasn't talked to a normal person in...he isn't sure how long. He isn't sure how to talk to people anymore. 

“She isn’t ready for us to be together," he replies curtly. 

“Maybe you should let her decide.” The healer suggests smoothly. 

“Agni, she’s too young, we both are!" Zuko exclaims. He calms, realizing that she was just trying to make conversation. He sighs and asks her what month it is. 

“The seventh month.” 

He winces, he missed their birthday and the summer solstice. He was imprisoned for over two months. _Great Agni, those monsters._

“So she’s fourteen now.” Zuko whispers looking at the bare ceiling. 

“And you?” 

“I’m sixteen.” 

"Yeah, you are right. Much too young."

Later when the sun is low over the earth, the healer returns with more food. Zuko forces himself to sit up and wolfs down the warm vegetable dumplings. 

“My name is Leki.” The woman says from across the room. 

_Leki_ , an Air Nomad name. If Air Nomads marry outside of their people, it is usually with Fire Nation or Earth Kingdom people. Zuko can't keep his curiosity in and questions her. “An Air Nomad name for a waterbender?”

“My father is from the Northern temple while my mother is from the North Pole. They met when he visited the tribe to see the Northern Lights.” She states plainly, "I don’t expect you to tell me your name.”

“My name is Lee.” Zuko says quickly. 

“Of course it is.” Leki says with a half-smirk. 

“Will you turn me in?”

“No.”

“Why not?” 

“My son is your age, he lives in the Southern Temple with his father. I guess you remind me of him. Anyways you are young and young people should live.” 

Zuko nods but he isn’t sure to count what he has been doing as living. 

"Do you have any herbs to stop dreams?"

Leki narrows her eyes at him. "I knew you were special. You have Tui’s touch on you!"

Zuko exhales, not wanting to hear about Tui or La or spirits or fate or destiny. The prince half-whispers, "Just give it to me, please."

The woman goes and gathers the blend to give to him. She mixes the blend with warm water and hands the firebender the cup. With a concerned look Leki asks, "You understand what this will do? To both you and to _them_?"

"Yes, I do." Zuko says firmly before he gulps the drink. 

And for the first night in his young life, Zuko sleeps and dreams nothing. 

He spends the rest of the week with Leki, having healing sessions and regaining his mobility. He and Leki share stories, her about her family background and him about Katara. Zuko finds that talking about Katara is easy, her life is pleasant, simple, and happy-nothing like his own. 

They sit over bowls of juk mixed with vegetables. 

"If you love this girl so much, why are you doing this to her?" 

Zuko stammers and starts to flush. "Love? Who said anything about love?"

Leki lets out a chuckle and shakes her head. "That's kind of what having a soulmate is all about. You love them and need them."

The teenager continues to flush and is silent for the rest of their meal. 

That night, as he drifts off to sleep in his cot, he feels a cooling sensation overtake his body. It is like he is standing under a waterfall on a sweltering day and being comforted by the spray. Zuko feels the sensation deep in his heart and knows who is causing it. It is love, Katara’s love for him. And he cries because he has gone so long without feeling safe and now because of her, he does. He does not deserve that, he does not deserve her. 

The prince writes a note to Leki and leaves her home at sunrise. 

* * *

He walks to the next town over and steals an ostrich horse, a hawk, an eyepatch, dao swords, simple travel clothes, and a blue oni mask. 

He sits by a stream and writes a note to his family. 

_Mother,_

_I am alive. I’m so sorry but Father was murdered. There are some things that I must do. Do not try to find me. I will come home when I am ready._

_I love you, Azula, and Grandfather._

_-Your Little Turtleduck_

* * *

Nights used to mean snowball fights with Sokka, shadow puppets with the children, and sitting between Gran-Gran's knees as she braided his-her-their hair. 

Now nights mean nothing beyond the smell of blood and metal. 

Through his oni mask, he feels that he can see all their secrets and fears. Sometimes he wonders if he may be a spirit. Maybe he died deep underground in that prison and this is his afterlife. Roaming the world, running the wind, and searching for revenge. 

He runs his sword through them. The guards who rammed and prodded, broke and bent. The ones who humiliated them, trying to break down what took generations to build. Cutting their hair to shame them for their blood and status. Depriving them of sleep, water, and food. He’ll never forget their faces or their names and made sure to take his time with them.

But not Fong, not _yet_.

Once he is through with the guards, he walks to the edge of a cliff and screams himself hoarse. 

Then he moves on to others. The ones he had heard whispers about in taverns and alleyways. The butchers, the bringers of death, and the ones who haunt dreams. He goes after them; he kills captains, colonels, and even a general. General Bohai, the man who ordered the entire city of Yuudai to be buried, killing countless families. He kills him and leaves his mask next to the corpse.

The Blue Spirit is dead, they say. 

(But did he ever live?) 

* * *

Sometimes he hears his father’s voice calling out to him through the wind. 

_(Burn them all, Zuko. Burn them all.)_

_Soon,_ he replies. _Soon._

* * *

“Azula, are you really here?” He looks at her at the entrance of his room. He makes sure to drink his nightly blend and does not dream of Katara; sometimes as he drifts off, he sees flashes of his family, Ember Island, of running and playing under the sun.

He looks over at his sister and notes that her face has narrowed into an oval shape and she looks more like their mother. 

(How old is she? How long has he been gone?)

Her deep amber eyes are still just as sharp (if not sharper) and he wonders if she knows everything he has done and thought. 

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be here? Mother and Grandfather sent me to find you. I just didn’t expect to find you... _here._ ” 

Zuko growls, “It’s not what you think, I do their security and they give me food and lodgings.” 

Azula snarks, “Aw, how quaint. My brother, the big strong bodyguard for whores.” 

“Lala, stop.” He shouts and something in his eyes and voice causes her to soften. 

“What are you doing here, Zuzu? You’d rather be here than home?”

“Father would say there are some paths a person must journey alone.”

“Father is dead.” Azula states with a wavering voice, giving away her pain. 

“I was there, Azula. You think I don’t know that?” 

“Father would want you home and safe. Not here, surrounded by _undesirables._ Come home,” she pleads. 

“No, Azula.” 

There is a pause, then a realization. 

“It’s you. You are _him._ ” Azula says as she pulls a Blue Spirit mask out of her bag. She holds up the mask and runs her finger over the ridges. 

“Now do you understand?” 

She smiles grimly and he sees the recognition in her eyes. “You are taking our enemies out one by one.” 

“They deserve ten thousand years of pain for what they've done to our people, our family. They desecrate our temples, kill our sages. Declare people collaborators and burn their villages before killing them."

“And who are you? An agent of Agni’s divine justice?” She replies as she crosses her arms. 

“Are we not his children? Can we not exact his will?” 

“I doubt our great god would choose your methods but...I’ll tell Mother and Grandfather I couldn’t find you. Then I’ll say I’m searching the colonies and spend some time with Ty Lee. Come home after you take Omashu.”

“How did you know?” 

“Because I know you, brother,” she says as she leaves the room. 

* * *

The soldiers call him several names: _The Black Prince_ , _The Dragon of the East_ , and _The Lightning Bringer_. He refuses one title, King of Omashu. He will not rule here, these are not his people. 

He sits on the great throne as Nobleman Ukano-no- _Governor Ukano_ and his family bow before him. 

Mai looks up at him and smiles softly. He cannot help but return it. 

* * *

(He remembers leading their army forward as they charged towards the city. He stands in front of General Fong-no- _King Fong._ He feels the power building inside him, begging to be released. He splits his chi and brings it crashing back together. He outstretches his fingers and the cold fire illuminates the sky as he kills Fong.)

"Zuko, did you hear a single word of what I just said?" Mai says with a slight furrow of her brow. 

"No, I'm sorry." He looks at her, watching as the soft glow of the sunset forms a halo around her head. _Beautiful_ , he thinks. "Why haven't you asked about what happened to me?"

“Your secrets are yours to keep. But I do have one question." 

His heart leaps in his throat but he knows that she deserves an answer. She has been a good friend to him, both now and back then. 

“How is your waterbender?” Mai asks. 

“She’s not mine.” Zuko replies sharply. 

“I’m pretty sure the gods said otherwise.” 

“I don’t want to talk about her.” 

“Why?” 

“I just don’t.”

Mai knows when to drop a subject, due to her noble upbringing and her general air of disinterest. She doesn't push; all she does is reach over and intertwine her fingers with his. 

Zuko's eyes widen but he does not pull away from her. He feels a sense of calm coming over his heart and for the first time in a long time, he is happy. 

The two of them just sit in silence, watching as the sun sets over Omashu. 

* * *

Mai and Zuko sit outdoors eating a light breakfast of fruit and green tea. 

He enjoys his time with Mai. She doesn't treat him like a monster or a myth. He is still Zuko of Caldera to her. He appreciates her for being the only person who can treat him just as she did _before_. 

His heart is pounding in his chest like a dragonfly hummingbird but he knows that he must tell her what is in his heart. “Mai, I have to tell you something. You know I’m not good with words. But I really like y-”

Mai pulls him in for a kiss. The kiss is soft and sweet and he closes his eyes as he deepens it. They pull apart and she whispers, “What about her?” 

He doesn’t answer her because he does not know the answer to that question. He just pulls her in for another kiss. 

* * *

He returns to Caldera after almost four years away. With the sun behind him, he walks into the city wearing his blood red robes. 

He kneels in the courtyard, dressed in flowing white, looking out at the crowd of his grandfather’s funeral. He continues kneeling next to his mother and sister as they watch the sages declare his uncle Fire Lord. 

Zuko visits Iroh in his favorite sitting room and bows low before him as he begins to cry. 

The prince lets out a gasp when Iroh pulls him into a warm hug as they cry together. 

“You were lost and now you are found. Nothing you have done would ever make any of us hate you. Love forgives.”

Zuko nods, but he is unsure that he is found and if will ever be found. 

* * *

He stands in his room, touching the soft silks in shades of blue and purple, the poems and pressed flowers, and the glittering combs and jewels. He places them all back into the fire lily chest and hands it to a servant to take away. 

“My love, what are you doing?” Ursa questions as she places a manicured hand on his shoulder. 

“Something I must do, Mother." Zuko replies. 

His family does not speak of Katara. They know better than to ask him about his soulmate. The days where he would talk their ears off about her and the Water Tribes are long gone. Zuko is still jumpy, readjusting to the comfort, warmth, and love of home. They do not push him to discuss the things that he cannot. They are just happy that he has returned to Caldera, to them. 

He wonders if they know that he is doing all this because he is afraid. He’s afraid that if Katara actually saw him, she would reject him. That the one person on this planet who was preordained to love him would be disgusted by him. 

That afternoon, he arranges for four bags of gold coins to be sent to Leki. 

In the quiet of his room, after he drinks his tea, he opens his nightstand and pulls out a scroll, _The Dance of the Sun and Moon_. He falls asleep with the scroll on top of his lap. 

* * *

“What are you looking at?” Mai asks as she sits up, pulling the crimson sheets tighter around her. 

Zuko stands on her balcony drinking his special tea blend and looking out into the city. His eyes turn upwards, searching for a moon that he knows he will not find. 

“Nothing,” The prince sighs as he returns to bed and presses a soft kiss to Mai’s lips. 

Mai returns his kiss and bites his lower lip, Zuko laughs as she pushes him down on the bed. She lifts her leg to settle on top of his middle and leans down to continue kissing him. Zuko leans up to deepen the kiss as his tongue pushes past her lips. 

Mai breaks the kiss and moves downward to begin pressing kisses down his neck and chest and Zuko forgets all about the moon. 

* * *

Zuko walks with his uncle in the royal gardens. The two men pay no mind to the petals of various colors sticking to their hair and deep red robes. 

Zuko chokes, “I am not a good man, Uncle. I’ve done terrible and dark things. I don’t want her spirit to be tainted by my sins. She is brave, kind, and wonderful. She deserves a simple life of peace and joy. If she knew…”

“She is your soulmate, she is meant to be with you. She wouldn’t hate you, she could never hate you. She loves you just as you love her." Iroh says earnestly. 

“You don’t know that, Uncle. You don’t know that.” Zuko whispers as he turns to leave the garden. As he walks back to his room, he feels something wet in his hair. He looks up and notices the rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be under 3,000 words but I don't know why, it just kept building (I think you all can tell that Zuko is my favorite character lol). I hope you all don't mind the length. It is Zuko Day, so I guess consider the length to be in honor of that!
> 
> I'm not sure who started the whole Wani is the name of Zuko's ship, a lot of people credit it to MuffinLance but I'm pretty sure it predates their stories, kind of like how all fics have Toph calling Zuko Sparky. This chapter is dedicated especially to: Lliyk, socordia, and Hshshshshshwh! Their reviews really inspired me to finish this chapter.
> 
> Thank you for your wonderful reviews. And thank you to everyone who has left kudos and hits :).


	5. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I caught an error in the last chapter and edited it. Zuko does not know that Katara is from the South Pole. He just knows she is from one of the Water Tribes. That is important for the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy this Katara-centric chapter. I had so much fun writing it.

Katara sits inside a circle, surrounded by the female elders of the tribe. 

The great elder, Uki, looks at her with ocean grey eyes. “State your name.”

“Katara, daughter of Hakoda and Kya.”

An elder with a crown of powder-white braids, states, “Katara, daughter of Hakoda and Kya, to be a woman of the tribe, you must prove yourself to hold great mental and physical strength.”

As her grandmother looks on, Uki questions her. “At night they come without being fetched, and by day they are lost without being stolen.”

Katara pauses and then replies, “The stars.” 

The elder with the powder-white braids asks, “There is a house. One enters it blind and comes out seeing. What is it?"

“A school.”

Uki, with a soft smile, says, “Now, Katara we will move on to the other tasks.”

* * *

Katara sits amongst the other young women of the tribe; she is focused as she stitches grass together around a grass coil foundation to make baskets. 

She looks over to see Chena giggling with her two friends. 

Katara dips her hand in a pail of water to continue wetting the grass. 

“Now that you are old enough to wed, will you marry Panuk?” 

Katara raises her head, acknowledging Chena, and notices that the others have stopped their work to listen. 

She furrows her brow, “What are you talking about?”

 _This doesn’t make any sense_ , Katara thinks. _Panuk knows that I have a soulmate, the whole village knows about him._

Chena babbles, “Juatan went hunting with the men and overheard Panuk asking your dad if he could court you. Your dad said yes.” 

In a fit of anger, Katara knocks over the pail of water. “You are a liar, Chena! My dad would never!” 

“Why don’t you go ask him and find out yourself?” Chena smirks as the others look on. 

The snow breaks under her feet as she runs towards the meeting house. 

Hakoda sits with his council, pointing at various trade maps. 

Katara stands with her arms crossed and simply says, "Dad."

* * *

The two of them stand behind the meeting house, their shouts being carried off into the wind. 

“I will not accept Panuk as a suitor. Do you understand?” she declares. 

Hakoda's jaw is clenched as she continues, “Tell the men that I will not marry any of their sons!” 

Her dad crosses his arms and exhales sharply. 

With hard eyes, Katara huffs, "You've never listened to me, not once. You've never understood what Zuko meant to me, what he _still_ means to me."

Hakoda tilts his head up, exasperated as he shouts, "I do! That's why I am doing this! Because I do!"

Katara's eyes soften and she falters. "Dad, what are you trying to say?"

The chief places his hand on his forehead and kicks at the snow. 

Tentatively, he says, "When we all thought he was your past life, I loved to hear your stories. The way your eyes would light up when you talked about your other family, your other home, and the things that you would do."

Katara bites her lip as her dad continues, "But then, once we found out he was your... _soulmate,_ I knew..."

"Knew what?"

His voice breaks, "That would you leave the tribe, leave us. That you would live with him and his people. That if you ever came back here, it would be once a year."

"Dad..." she begins softly as she approaches him. She had thought and wondered about her life with Zuko. In her mind, she always saw herself on Ember Island with him, feeling the sand under her feet as they looked up at the stars. She never thought about what the distance would mean for her village, for her dad. 

Katara wraps her arms around her father and presses her head into his chest. The cry in his voice is evident as he continues, "I know about Tui and the legends and the gods but why. Why did they choose you? Why did they choose my little fish?"

A tear rolls down her cheeks as she clutches him tighter, whispering, "I'm sorry, Dad. I never knew. I never knew."

* * *

Katara walks with Master Hama through the wind-blasted desert of snow back towards the village. 

“Master Hama," Katara begins, "I won't learn that from you anymore, it is sick. I don't care if it is a tradition, if I'm special. I'll never do that again." The young waterbender states. 

Hama, with icy eyes, says, “I pray you never have to.” 

Later, in the warmth of her room, she cries softly into her furs and clutches the bone talisman. 

She wipes her tears, thankful that Zuko will not dream her fear, terror, and shame as she called the blood of those wolves towards her and killed them from the inside out. 

* * *

The gelid wind flies in her face as Katara stands with her family at the dock to welcome the delegation from Kyoshi. 

The delegation is small with just Oyaji, Suki, and Himari. She turns towards Sokka, his face giving away all of the awkwardness he is feeling at seeing his ex-girlfriend. 

Gran-Gran and Kya cook a meal of seaweed noodles and steamed dumplings to welcome their guests to the tribe. 

They sit in Gran-Gran's igloo, making light conversation. Katara sits between Suki and Himari as they speak quietly to her about the new recruits and the different training techniques Suki has been implementing. 

Oyaji clears his throat, "Chief Hakoda, thank you for welcoming us."

Hakoda puts down his tea and smiles softly, "Of course, Elder Oyaji. The friendship between our peoples is strong and will continue to be strong."

Oyaji nods, "Yes, these are difficult times and we must depend on each other."

Hakoda raises a brow, "Has the Fire Nation-"

Oyaji shakes his head, "No, Kyoshi is spared their ire but the old dragon continues on. Do these people not grieve? Do they feel no shame? He has lost his two sons with one dead and the other mad. Don't forget, he also has two dead grandsons, yet he continues on, except now instead of conquering territory he allows mercenaries to just burn it."

Katara looks downward into her cup of green tea and touches her talisman. Even though she knows Zuko lives, it is difficult to hear him spoken of as if he is not, as if he is ashes scattered in the wind. 

When she looks up, her Gran-Gran sends her a sympathetic glance. 

Suki clears her throat, "The war is why we are here, Chief Hakoda. It is a bloodbath out there in the kingdom, and many refugees have begun entering our shores. With a good amount of them sick or injured, our healers have been overwhelmed."

Suki looks over at Katara, "It would help us a great deal, if some of your healers could come and assist us."

Hakoda cups his chin in his head and considers Suki's request but before he can even reply, Katara answers for him. 

"Of course, we will help. I am willing to come and I know some of the other healers would as well."

At that moment, Sokka begins choking on his tea and Kya slaps his back. 

Hakoda pinches the bridge of his nose and gives their guests a smile that doesn't reach his eyes, "Yes, of course. Our healers and any other resources are at your disposal." 

* * *

Sokka kneels beside Katara helping her pack her supplies. 

"Sis, this has nothing to do with the fact that the Northern delegation is coming?"

Katara scoffs, "Of course not! Why would you ever think that?"

Sokka rubs the back of his neck. "If you were worried about how to explain to those Northern guys why they can't court you, you shouldn't be. I'll just knock their teeth in then they'll leave you alone."

She places a hand on his shoulder, "No, Sokka. That isn't it. I just want to help."

Her brother furrows his brow, "Really?"

"Yes, Sokka. I don't care about those stuffy Northerners. I could handle them on my own, you know that. Did you forget that day I froze Irniq to the wall of the meeting house?'

Sokka throws his head back in laughter, "How could I forget that! He begged Master Hama to unfreeze him when she passed by and she said no!"

* * *

She stands at the dock with her family, saying her goodbyes to the village as she and the other healers begin their journey to Kyoshi with Oyaji, Suki, and Himari. 

After she hugs Sokka, he whispers in her ear. "Promise me this isn't some ploy to go see your jerkbender? If you come home with his fire-breathing baby, I'll jump into the sea."

Katara jabs Sokka hard with her elbow. "Will you ever stop being an ice-brained idiot?"

Sokka smirks, "I'm not just an ice-brained idiot, I'm _your_ ice-brained idiot."

Katara smiles softly and pulls Sokka into a tight hug. "Take care of Mom, Dad, Gran-Gran and everyone."

"I always do, Katara. I always do."

She waves at them as they become smaller and smaller in the distance until she can't see them anymore. 

Katara wipes a tear that falls down her cheek.

Suki places a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You are doing the right thing, Katara."

"I know."

* * *

On Kyoshi, her days are long and hard. She spends hours dealing with the sick and the wounded. 

At night as she drifts into a dreamless sleep, she smiles because she knows it is all worth it. 

One day, a young man is brought into the clinic. 

He is handsome, with tan skin and dark hair. 

She spends time healing him as he passes in and out of consciousness. 

The next day, she comes by to check on him and he is sitting up, eating vegetable broth. 

She softly approaches him and he looks up at her with dark almond-colored eyes. 

"It's you," he says softly. "You are the beautiful spirit who saved me."

Katara flushes deeply and stammers, "I'm not a spirit, I'm just a healer."

The young man flashes her a bright smile, "Well, nice to meet you, _I'm not a spirit, I'm just a healer_. My name is Jet."

Katara bites her lip and pushes her dark braid over her shoulder. "Hi, Jet." The waterbender says, trying out his name and finding that she likes the feel of it on her lips. "My name is Katara."

"Katara," he grins, "I like that much better."

* * *

She and Jet begin to spend her breaks together, laughing as they walk together throughout the village. 

One day, he takes her to a restaurant for lunch. 

They sit and talk over bowls of curry udon. 

As they talk, she overhears two men arguing about something. 

“The Blue Spirit is a tribesman!”

“No! Long Feng has sent a delegation to the North, they wish to ally with our people. Why would they risk that by having one of their men be an assassin?”

“I didn’t say it was sanctioned by their chief! All I said was that it’s a tribesman who wanted some Fire Nation coin!”

Katara turns her head towards the two men. “Excuse me, sirs. Pardon me for overhearing your conversation but who are you talking about?”

“The Blue Spirit, he is a violent assassin. He goes around killing army officials. He has the Council of Five on high alert, many fear he will come for them next.”

“What does the Blue Spirit look like?” The young woman queries. 

“He wears a blue oni mask. People have only caught brief glimpses of it, some say he truly is a spirit of vengeance.” The other man pulls a flyer out of his sack. “There is a reward for him. A family could be rich for three generations off the kind of money Long Feng is offering up for his capture.”

Katara takes the paper from the man and runs her fingers over the illustration. She closes her eyes and remembers Zuko running around with his mother and sister in masks, acting out _Love Amongst the Dragons_. 

_Could it be-,_ she stops herself before she goes down that path. Not everything in this life has to do with Zuko. He is just one person, one person in a sea of millions. 

She feels a soft touch on her wrist and looks over to see Jet. She had forgotten he was even there. 

“Are you ready to go?” Jet asks. 

She nods and hands the man back the flyer. Katara walks with Jet into the gentle spring air and when he offers her his hand, she takes it.

* * *

Katara closes her eyes, trying to focus on the pleasure as Jet runs his hands and mouth across her body. 

Jet presses a kiss to the inside of her thigh as he reaches closer to that special place and she breathes out, “Zuko, oh Zuko, don’t stop.”

The illusion shatters and Jet immediately recoils from her. The young man exhales sharply and pushes his sweaty hair out of his face. 

"Who is Zuko? Your Zuko, I mean because you can't possibly mean _that_ demon Zuko, the one who is leading the charge against Omashu!" he growls. 

She winces at his insult but Zuko and his family are hated throughout the Earth Kingdom. At the news of his father's death and his presumed death, many celebrated. When he returned on the field of battle, it is said the Fire Nation soldiers carried him up on their shoulders, chanting that dragons die twice. “No one that would matter to you.” Katara says as she pulls up the covers around herself. 

“Well, he’s important enough to you that you call out his name. Tell me who he is. Maybe I can even go find him since you’d rather him be here than me!” Jet shouts as he begins to dress and starts to leave the room. 

“Wait, Jet.” Katara pleads as tears begin to streak her cheeks. 

“Oh, so now you know my name.” Jet retorts as he closes the door and turns back to her. “So tell me, who is Zuko to you? Your boyfriend? Did you get in a little fight with your boyfriend and think you’d lay with me for revenge?” 

“No! Nothing like that. I wasn’t using you, I like you. I do like you but Zuko, _that_ Zuko, he’s- he’s my soulmate.” Katara answers. 

“Soulmate?” His brow furrows as recognition enters his mind. He lets out a soft breath and begins to pace the room. “Be honest, I never really had a chance did I?” 

“No, I guess you didn’t. I'm sorry, Jet," she half-whispers. 

“Goodbye, Katara.” Jet says softly as he leaves the room. 

Katara lets out a cry and throws her bone talisman at the wall before wrapping her arms around herself. 

* * *

She continues her work in the village, sitting in moody silence as Suki and the other warriors try to lift her spirits. 

Jet avoids her, briefly glancing at her from across rooms and as they pass each other in the streets.

She is sitting in the cool shade of a fern tree as she writes a letter to her family. 

“Hi, Katara.” The waterbender looks up to see Jet standing over her in a green army uniform. 

“Hi, Jet.” 

He plainly says, “I’ve joined the army. They need every man they can get to defend Omashu.” 

Katara pushes a stray curl behind her ear, “I’m happy for you, Jet. You look determined and I know you will do well.” 

The young man crosses his arms, “Are you really happy?” 

“Yes, I am.” Katara replies as she furrows her brow. 

Jet bites his lip before he questions her. “What if I face your soulmate in battle? Then I would kill him.” 

Katara sighs, “You wouldn’t.” 

“You think I would spare him for _you_?” he asks mockingly. 

Katara takes a breath to calm herself. “You wouldn’t kill him because you can’t best him. There is something inside him, I can’t describe it, but it is intense and wild like a flame.” 

“Is that why you love him? You want to tame that flame?” Jet scoffs as he shakes his head. 

She replies without thinking, her emotions getting the best of her. “No, I don't want to tame it, I want to be consumed by it. I think I already have been.” 

Jet looks away from her slightly and when he meets her gaze, his eyes have hardened. “Now, I really want to face him on the battlefield. People treat him as a legend, I wish to show others that he is just a man.” 

“I hope you never cross paths with him; I wish for you to live and live long.” She stands and reaches over to press a soft kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, Jet.” 

“For what?” 

“For being my friend.” 

“I would have been much more if you let me.” 

She clutches her arm and looks away from him, turning towards the beach. “I know.” 

* * *

When Katara returns home, her dad grabs her and lifts her off the ground. Her mom and Gran-Gran cover her face in kisses. The other villagers all hug her as they ask questions about Kyoshi Island and remark about how beautiful she is becoming. 

She turns her head and watches Sokka approach, holding hands with a beautiful young woman, her hair as pale as the moon. 

Sokka's cheeks are flushed and his blue eyes sparkle with joy as he announces, "Katara, this is my fiancée, Princess Yue of the Northern Water Tribe."

Princess Yue bows and Katara returns it. The young princess' voice is melodious and calm, "Katara, I have heard so much about you."

Katara looks the princess over with her fine purple parka and pearl jewels and states, "Funny, I haven't heard a single thing about you."

* * *

Later, in the communal hut as Yue speaks about the North Pole, Katara sips her tea and listens. 

Sokka leans over and whispers softly, “I think I understand now. What you meant about Zuko, how he makes you feel. I- I feel that with Yue.” 

She smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. What he said isn't true. No one else can feel what she feels about Zuko. The prince is a part of her, lodged deep inside of her. The gods split their soul and until they are reunited she will not feel whole. He is in her blood, in the marrow, in the steady rhythm of her beating heart. Sokka can never understand that, no one besides Zuko can understand the desperate, consuming need she feels. 

But she cannot tell Sokka this, it is a strange and odd thing to say. To try to downplay the intensity and depth of another person’s love so she squeezes his knee. She hopes that his love doesn't push him away like hers did. 

* * *

Chief Arnook arrives for the engagement festivities and a grand feast is hosted with various Southern and Northern delicacies. 

The topic of conversation is not Sokka and Yue or even the relationship between the two tribes but Zuko. 

Chief Arnook sits next to her father with Master Pakku and their Earth Kingdom guests at his side as they discuss Omashu.

Everyone listens intently as the Earth Kingdom delegates speak of the one-eyed dragon and his army. 

They speak of his speeches at the wall of how the Fire Nation only respects blood kings and if they bring him a relative of King Bumi to rule, he will turn from their gates, when he knew the coalition had slaughtered the old king's entire house. 

When he entered the city and seized it, he had Fong and his council brought before him. 

He spoke of their crimes against him and his father then he killed Fong with lightning. 

“There was a great storm?” Arnook asks. 

The delegate clearly states, “No, your majesty, it was a clear day. The lightning came from inside the prince.” 

The whole table gasps and they begin whispering to each other. 

The old master, Pakku, lets out a bitter laugh. “Impossible, internal lightning generation is a thing of legends, no one has seen it done in war since Avatar Kyoshi’s time.” 

“The prince did it, they call him the Lightning Bringer.” The delegate maintains. 

“Monsters, their whole line. May Tui and La protect us from their ire.” Arnook declares. 

Katara sips her tea to hide her smile. The Northern Chief fears her prince and his blood, if only he knew that his daughter's new sister was the prince's soulmate. 

An Earth Kingdom delegate pushes his glasses up and awkwardly asks, “Why would Tui stand against her husband?” 

Pakku squints his eyes at the delegate, “Lies, slanderous lies against our gods. You really believe those Fire Nation tales? That marriage was not valid without her brother's approval. She was never Agni's wife." 

Arnook nods in agreement. “Agni like all his people is a trickster, La tried to protect his sister from him.” 

Hakoda clears his throat and begins, "Chief Arnook, Yue tells me you favor the boomerang. Sokka does as well."

Arnook raises his brow and begins speaking as the conversation shifts to weaponry.

Gran-Gran whispers in Katara's ear, "Thank the spirits for your father, I was about to throw my teacup at Master Pakku."

Katara bites her lip to hide her laughter. 

* * *

Katara sits in their igloo, mending a hole in her dad's parka. 

“Can you stop smiling? It’s strange.” Sokka says in-between bites of seal jerky. 

“Excuse me?” 

“That prince kills an entire council, a king, and conquers a city and you smile.” 

Katara exclaims, “I’m happy that he is safe! That man Fong was the one who tortured him and Dad! Sorry if I think he got what he deserved.” 

Sokka looks half-puzzled and replies slowly, “That was _his_ dad, Katara...not our dad. There’s a difference.” 

Katara returns to her mending and states, “Sometimes, I barely feel like there is one.” 

* * *

On the boat towards the North, her mom takes off her necklace and hands it to her. 

"Mom, why are you giving this to me?" Katara asks as she runs a finger over the smooth stone. 

"Your Gran-Gran asked me to give this to you. So those Northern boys don't bother you while we are here for the wedding." Kya says with a soft smile. "She hates this place so much so that she refused to come for the wedding. But she is having so much fun planning their Southern wedding."

"I hate it too."

Kya furrows her brow and chastises her daughter. "Little fish, you've never even been there."

Katara ties the necklace around her throat. "I don't have to see it. I hate the way they treat women, how they are only allowed to be healers. You didn't see the way Master Pakku looked at me when I performed with Master Hama and the other students."

Kya sighs, "Master Pakku is an old fart. There's a reason your grandmother ran away to avoid marrying him."

Katara chuckles, "Did you really just call a distinguished waterbending master, an old fart?"

"If the kamik fits, then yeah." Kya says as she pushes Katara's stray hairs back. 

Katara touches the stone of the necklace again, "When Sokka rules them, he'll change that. I hope the old man lives long enough to see it."

"Kya! Come here!" Hakoda shouts from a distance. 

Kya rolls her eyes, "Your father needs help practicing his toast. I will see you at dinner."

Katara nods and looks out at the vast sea as they approach the Northern icecaps. 

* * *

The courtyard of the royal palace is the most beautiful place Katara has ever seen. 

There is a gentle stillness and comfort in the air as Katara watches the wedding ceremony. She stands next to her mother, father, and Bato as they represent the Southern Water Tribe. 

Sokka in his finest furs and Yue in hers, stand under a canopy as the shaman speaks in the ancient water tongue.

If the wedding was held this way in the South Pole, barely anyone would understand him. Katara knows a good amount of it, taught to her by her grandmother who speaks it fluently like all educated Northerners but the South distances itself from most of the old ways. 

She clutches Kya's hand as her mother's tears flow freely. 

It has come time for the ceremonial binding and Katara waits for Chief Arnook to approach with the blue ribbon to unite their families as one. 

The Chief does not approach, he grabs his wife's hand then looks over at his royal guardsmen and shouts, "Arrest them!"

Her family lets out a cry of confusion as the wedding descends into chaos. 

Katara gets separated from Kya and looks over to see Sokka, Hakoda, and Bato fighting the guardsmen with their clubs and fists. 

She screams as she watches a Northerner's spear go through Bato's stomach as he falls in a pool of blood. 

Katara begins fighting erratically, the anger and sadness blinding her as she hits multiple warriors with ice daggers and attempts to find her family in the melee. 

Suddenly, the fighting stops and she watches as a Northern warrior, Hahn, stands on the platform with a knife to her mother's throat. 

Her heart is in her throat and she can't even find the voice to scream. 

"Let her go, you animal!" Hakoda shouts as the royal guardsmen hold his arms back. 

Hahn presses the knife into Kya's throat, cutting her slightly as a warning. "Stand down, Chief Hakoda and tell your children to do the same."

Hakoda looks at them with deep pain in his eyes and yields. 

Katara stops resisting and she feels a sharp pain in her head as her world turns to black. 

* * *

When she wakes up, her arms are tied behind her and her legs are tied together. 

She looks over and sees Sokka and their parents in a similar position. 

A door opens and she sees Chief Arnook enter the room with Yue, Hahn, and Pakku. 

Sokka, looking completely broken, whispers, "Why? Bato is dead. Why would you do this? Tell me you didn’t want to. That you were forced. I loved you, Yue."

Yue's face is puffy and her hair disheveled, her blue eyes glistening with tears. 

"I'm sorry, Sokka. I had to protect my people."

"From what?" Katara shouts. "Protect them from what?"

Arnook narrows his eyes at her. "Don't act clueless, girl. There is a war going on."

"Why does that matter? The agreement with Avatar Aang..." Katara begins.

Hahn interrupts her, "Oh please, don't act like we are stupid. Yue told us about you and your ashmaker. It was only a matter of time before you came with him to conquer us."

Sokka's eyes widen and he looks away from Katara. 

"You told her about Zuko! Why would you do that!" Katara screams. 

Sokka chokes, "I didn't know, I'm so sorry, Katara. I just wanted to impress her so I told her about Master Piandao and she asked how I knew so much about the Fire Nation... and it just all tumbled out."

"Sokka, of all the idiotic things..." Katara says through clenched teeth. 

"Stop!" Kya cries, "Just stop, none of that matters now."

"Your mother is right. We didn't need your simple minded brother to say anything. Any half-good shaman or mystic could have seen the touch of fire on you. But truly, your soulmate doesn't matter. The South belongs to the North and always will." Pakku exclaims. 

A dark smile appears on Katara's face. "If you know about him then you know what he'll do if you hurt me or my family. He'll turn this tribe into a wasteland. Free us or face the combined wrath of the Southern Water Tribe and the Fire Nation."

Pakku laughs, "Your tribe has already been subjugated under its true ruler, Chief Arnook and his family. Your precious warriors and waterbenders are imprisoned. As for your soulmate, he will do no such thing. He won't help you. He doesn't care for you."

She barks at him, "Shut up! You people don't know anything about him or our bond!"

A slow smile appears on Arnook's face. "Oh, we know things about him and you. We know that you felt so high and mighty sitting in your barren home, calling yourself a princess as if you belonged to a true royal house. You come from a long line of pretenders and imitators, your people are nothing and will always be nothing. Your soulmate will not come for you because you are a pathetic heathen with nothing to give him, save for what you have between your legs."

Hakoda struggles against his restraints, "I will cut your tongue and gouge your eyes out for speaking to my daughter in such a manner."

Arnook looks over at Hahn and Hahn hits Hakoda hard with his club. 

The old master waterbender leans closer to Katara, "Now, that's better. Our majesty said such things because your soulmate has a wife, one of his nation and status. He has no use for you...not now and not ever."

Katara feels as if she has been punctured by a million tiny daggers in her heart and she is bleeding slowly. The entire world has come out from under her, she is drowning...lost in a dark and vast sea. She fights back tears as she says, "You are a liar and old fool! My grandmother denied you because you are not a man, you are nothing."

"I will enjoy feeding your hearts and carcasses to the wild beasts of the tundra.” Sokka narrows his eyes at Arnook, “Oathbreaker, I don't care that your daughter is not my wife. I will rule this tribe, I vow it." Sokka exclaims. 

Arnook looks over at Hahn, "Take Sokka and show him what we do with pagans and barbarians in the North Pole."

Hahn nods and the guards take Sokka away. 

They leave her and Kya to their tears. 

* * *

The next night, they take her parents away, shipping them to a prison deep inside Ba Sing Se. 

Katara lays in her cell feeling her strength return as the moon reaches closer and closer to its fullness. She knows what she must do, she forgets the promises and vows she made to Hama. She will not die in a prison cell, she will feel the sun against her cheek. 

* * *

It is late when a guard passes her a bowl of plain cold rice, Katara closes her eyes and feels the rivers of blood inside him and pulls him towards her. 

She runs through the prison searching for Sokka. She knows she doesn't have a lot of time and didn't really plan her escape beyond bloodbending the guard. 

Katara can almost hear her brother's voice in her head, shouting, _You never think anything through!_

The waterbender turns a corridor and bumps into someone, Master Pakku.

Her teeth gnash in anger and she pulls the old man towards her, hearing him cry out as she bloodbends him to kneel before her. 

"Master Pakku, I will kill you but first I want to know something."

She hears his heavy breathing and feels the rapid beat of his heart as he tries to fight against her hold. 

"Did you lie about my soulmate? Did he really take a wife?" 

"No...I...did...not...lie. He...married...a...woman...named...for...a...plum...Ume...or..."

"Mai." Katara finishes. 

"Yes...” he whispers. 

Katara releases her hold on him and lets out a silent cry. 

She hears Master Pakku gasping as he struggles to catch his breath. "I'm sorry, I know what it is like to have to one you love betray you."

"Spirits, please stop talking!" Katara cries as she tries to control her tears. 

"I came to help you. I am sorry for what I said. I had to pretend for the Chief. I mean you and your family no harm."

"Wow, that means so much after you already caused the harm!" Katara exclaims as she wipes her tears. She stops when she feels a small game tile hit her foot and leans down to pick it up. 

"What is this?" The young woman asks as she picks up the white lotus tile. 

"Your brother is gone. They transported him to be imprisoned in the South Pole yesterday. They wanted to separate the two of you." The old master pants. 

Katara feels another dagger lodge itself in her heart. "What is the tile for?"

“Your grandmother and some of your people have taken refuge at the Southern Air Temple. Show it to the monks, they will understand.” Katara turns as she begins to hear footsteps and shouts. 

She lets out a sharp gasp as she watches Pakku injure his own arm with a sharp ice dagger. "Get out of here! They will stop to give me aid. That will give you time to steal a catamaran."

Katara sighs as she watches the blood run down his arm. "Thank you."

Pakku's eyes soften as he looks at her. "You look just like Kanna and you have her spirit."

Katara nods as she runs out into the night. 

* * *

Katara feels that she is losing her mind as she travels to the Southern Air Temple. 

She does not dream but flashes of her life and Zuko's drift through her mind like the wind. 

Lu Ten's laughter. Throwing snowballs at Sokka. The taste of hotcakes on Zuko's birthday. Her mother's voice lifting and falling as she told spirit tales. Uncle's warm hugs. 

Zuko has stolen something from her, broken something inside her. She feels so pathetic, her pain is so great, so heavy on her spirit but all she wants is for Zuko to be near her so he could burn it all to ashes. 

He is to blame for part of this pain, it is also his burden. He married Mai, he forgot her, cast her aside. 

But try as she might, she cannot hate him. She can only love him, she realizes as she cries and whimpers. 

Her dad's voice drifts into her mind. 

_(Why did they choose you?)_

She thinks of Jet, Panuk, all the other men she could have had if she ever thought of anyone beyond Zuko. 

_Zuko_

_Zuko_

_Zuko_

_Zuko_

Spirits, why? Why did they ever want this for her? She wants to curse Tui, Agni, for their foolishness and for her own. Maybe what she saw as a ribbon binding them together as one, Zuko saw as a noose.

Out of hunger, loneliness, and pain, she drifts off, her head resting against the side of her boat. 

* * *

"Miss? Miss, are you okay?"

Katara opens her eyes and sees a bald man, probably in his late thirties, in front of her dressed in saffron and yellow with a blue arrow on his head. She sees a group of younger monks behind him. 

"Hello,” she stammers, her voice hoarse from disuse. 

"Miss, my name is Gaden, I am one of Avatar Aang's grandchildren. This is the Southern Air Temple. You will be safe here."

Katara moves to take the token out of her pocket and hands it to him. 

He looks at the token and smiles. "Welcome, Katara. We have been waiting for you. Avatar Aang will be honored to meet you."

"What?" Katara asks as she drifts off again. 

* * *

She sits in a small room, with a window towards the outer courtyard as she regains her strength. Gran-Gran often sits with her and the two of them just cry for the things they have seen and lost. 

It is the end of her first week in the temple when an elderly man comes to speak to her. Somehow she knows who he is immediately. 

She bows before him. “Avatar Aang, I am honored to meet you.” 

The old Avatar returns the bow, “Katara of the Southern Water Tribe, I am honored to meet you. You are a great master and very brave. Would you like to have a meal with me?” 

The two of them sit in the courtyard, enjoying tofu and mung bean curry as they overlook the young boys running and playing in the breeze. 

“Please, Princess. Take as much food as you require. I know your journey was long and hard.” Avatar Aang says gently. 

“I am not really a princess," Katara murmurs, remembering Arnook's cruel taunts. 

“Not yet,” The old man replies with a smirk. 

* * *

One day, she sits in the library reading the tale of the Painted Lady. 

“You can read the old Fire tongue, how?" Katara drops the scroll and looks over to see Avatar Aang. "Don't worry that you did not hear me, us airbenders are light on our feet."

She smiles and with a soft blush says, “An... _old friend_...of mine, he and his family would speak and read it. It just became a part of me and somehow I haven’t forgotten it.”

The Avatar wrinkles his nose and thoughtfully says, "It is good that you remember it. It will make what will happen easier."

"What will happen?"

The Avatar totally ignores her question and poses one of his own. Teasingly, he asks, "This _old friend_ of yours, he wouldn't happen to be your soulmate...Zuko, son of Ozai?"

She turns away from him and sighs, "Yes. Do you know him?"

"I do, his mother, who is somewhat of a granddaughter to me, brought him and his sister to be blessed when they were young. I saw that he was already blessed by Agni and Tui but I blessed him anyway."

"Did you attend his wedding?"

The Avatar puts his hands behind his back and again poses his own question instead of answering hers. "Is that what burdens your heart? That he has taken a wife?"

Katara is silent and crosses her arms. 

Avatar Aang walks over and sits across from her. "Most people, their love is like flowers, flowers that wither and die as the seasons change. Your love with Zuko is special, it is like a river. It flows around rocks and adapts itself to all things, even mountains and valleys." 

Katara scoffs, "Are you telling me to forgive him? To forgive him for pushing me away? For marrying someone else? For leaving me alone as I suffer while my parents and brother are imprisoned? Is that what you are telling me to do?"

Avatar Aang places a warm hand on top of hers, "I'm not telling you to forgive him. I'm telling you that you already have."

"You are wrong," Katara snaps. 

The Avatar nods and walks away from her, leaving her alone with the stifling heaviness of her thoughts and heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the reviews and kudos! Happy New Year!
> 
> Author's note: I am the same author as before, I just decided to switch the work over to a new account and orphaned it on my old account. I was anonymous before because I was nervous about the reception of this fic (I had some irls who knew my ao3 info) so I just decided to create a separate account for my less-family friendly fics. It felt very strange interacting with you all anonymously so now you have an account to match the writing to.


	6. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Fire Lord pays penance as he attempts to outrun fate.

After rising with the sun, Zuko bathes with water he has heated himself. He dons the simple blush-colored outfit of the acolytes and joins the sages as they walk to the main garden of the Shu Jing temple. 

He presses his forehead to the grass as he prays in the old tongue. He prays for Mai’s health, Azula’s safety and success in her campaign, and his mother and uncle in Caldera. He prays for the Agni’s blessing over the Fire Nation and for his light to never leave them. The words come slowly on his tongue and guilt rises in his heart as he prays for Katara, her family, and her happiness. 

Once the prayers have concluded, he rises and breaks his fast, taking a simple meal of white fish and rice. He drinks hot water as he listens to the sages discuss the benefits of various meditation techniques. 

Then he sets about his regular routine of firebending practice, cooking, sweeping the floors, washing the sages' clothes, tending to the vegetable gardens and the animals, and assisting in the library. 

* * *

In the temple library, the Fire Lord recopies the shrine's records, classic manuscripts, and ancient philosophers in his neat handwriting. 

One of the sages enters the library with a scroll and speaks in hushed tones. "Your majesty, this is the town's birth, death, and marriage announcements for last year. Your handwriting is much neater than our last acolyte, it would be helpful if you recopied them." 

Zuko places the brush down. "Sage Chati, remember I am to be called Lee. If any of the worshipers ask, I am just a simple man here to serve as an acolyte."

Chati stammers as he places the scroll down on the table, "Of course, your ma-. I mean, _Lee_."

Zuko nods and sets back to continuing his work. 

Chati smooths down his clothes. "May I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"What do you hope to do here?"

Zuko bites his lip before replying in an even tone. "I am here to pay penance, to ask for Agni’s forgiveness. I have done a great many sins but the innocent should not be made to suffer for them, if anyone should suffer it should be me. I will stay here for the rest of my life if I must.” The Fire Lord narrows his uncovered eye at the sage, "Unless you and the other sages have a problem with my presence?"

“I will not keep you from seeking Agni’s light, none of us will," Chati reassures him. "May the great god guide your path and show you what must be done." He tilts his head at the Fire Lord. "Though I feel you already know what he wishes of you.” 

The young man sighs and looks downward. "I do and I-I will do it but I am waiting on an answer from him."

The sage leans towards Zuko and softens his amber eyes. "You will find your answer. He may not give it in a way you immediately understand and it may not be one you like."

* * *

The firebender sits in lotus position to meditate under an oak tree. He keeps his breath even as he attempts to focus himself. He tries to clear his mind but cannot stop the memories from flooding his mind. 

_In a dark room, in a simple house on Bhanti Island, Zuko sits surrounded by candlelight._

_Iroh presses down hard on his nephew's forearm to keep him seated. Zuko grimaces as he continues to hear his wife cry out in pain from the other side of the reed curtain._

_He turns his head and sees his mother-in-law crying softly on her husband's shoulder. Zuko wishes he could say some words to comfort them but he has none and even if he did, they would not receive them._

_"Zuko!" Iroh reprimands as the flames of the candles rise higher and higher. "Your breathing!"_

_The Fire Lord stiffens his posture and calms his breathing as the flames return to their normal height._

_After some time, the Bhanti sage, Noi, lifts the curtain and Zuko rushes to Mai's side, pressing a kiss to her sweaty brow as she sleeps._

_The five of them stand in an empty corridor as the sage speaks to them in hushed tones as to not disturb Mai._

_"Have you healed her?" he queries._

_"No and she will never be healed." Noi replies solemnly._

_"Choose your words wisely. Do not forget who you are speaking to," Zuko hisses._

_The old woman narrows her sharp eyes at him. "I have not forgotten who you are. You have forgotten that."_

_"Excuse me?"_

_"Agni shall not be mocked, your majesty. You have insulted him and his wife. You have wronged them along with your chosen mate." Noi looks over to the room where Mai sleeps, "Your sins have tainted that young woman."_

_Zuko bites his tongue so hard, he draws blood. "That young woman? She has a name! She is Fire Lady Mai of Caldera, my wife and co-ruler of this nation."_

_Noi sighs, "Your wife? Agni does not accept her and will never accept her. He chose your wife long ago. If you care for Lady Mai, you will put her away as soon as possible then maybe Agni will take pity on her."_

_At that Michi lets out a cry. She falls to the ground and pulls on Zuko's robes. "Your majesty, please do not put my daughter away! First you curse her, then you will shame her forever! She will have to watch your new wife give you children! Watch her wear the Fire Lady's crown! If this sickness does not kill her, she will die of shame!" The noblewoman begins sobbing, "If you need a child so desperately, adopt her brother, take him as your son."_

_Zuko freezes, unable to move or speak, as the woman continues to cry and pull at his robes._

_Ukano grabs Michi and pulls her off the floor. "No! I will not give another one of my children to this spoiled dragon!" He growls at Zuko, "Kill us all, your majesty. Run your sword through us. If you put my daughter away, our family shall be nothing, Mai shall be nothing."_

_Zuko stammers, "I cannot, I will not kill you. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."_

_Ukano clenches his jaw as his wife continues to cry. Ukano curses Zuko, "You are pathetic. You lack the brilliance to rule this nation, the Earth Kingdom is nipping at our heels and a drought has overtaken our lands. You will turn our great people to ashes, we will be nothing but a memory. Lu Ten should have lived instead of you."_

_Iroh lunges at Ukano, forcing his elbow joint to bend the opposite way as Ukano cries out in pain. "You treacherous dog! From the moment your daughter was born, you schemed for her to be my nephew's wife. You, a man who has accomplished nothing, attempted nothing, living only on your long-dead ancestor's greatness-wished to have your blood mixed with the royal family. I should cut your tongue out for what you've said here!"_

_Zuko shakes as he sees a glint of madness in his uncle's eyes. "Apologize to him or face my wrath! I will rain fire on your house! Your name shall be nothing, forgotten!"_

_Ukano pants and winces in pain. "Fire Lord Zuko, I am deeply-"_

_"No!" Iroh hisses, "His full name and title."  
_

_"Fire Lord Zuko of Agni's most favored line, son of heaven, ruler of the Fire Nation and all its peoples, I apologize for my shameful acts. May you take pity on me and continue granting me your favor."_

_In a shaky voice, Zuko declares, "You are forgiven."_

_Iroh releases Ukano and the governor slumps to the floor._

_Zuko runs from the house out into the darkness of the night._

_"Zuko! Zuko, stop!" Iroh shouts after him. "I'm sorry, Zuko! He mentioned Lu Ten, he mentioned my son to shame you! His wife, daring to touch your robes...Ukano, an ant under our feet-"_

_Zuko interrupts, "Uncle, I am to blame. This is all my doing." He takes his glinting crown out of his hair and places it in Iroh's hand. "I do not deserve to rule our people and all I am doing is hurting Mai. He chokes, "Care for her as if she were your own daughter; in a way, she is. Since my father's death, you have been like a father to me, Uncle. But things cannot go on this way, even the gods are against me. I will go and seek Agni's face, then I shall return."_

_Zuko turns from his uncle and continues walking into the shadows._

_"Zuko! Please! Zuko!"_

The memory passes and Zuko touches his face to wipe his tears. He half-runs to the sanctuary and kneels before Agni's statue. 

"If I do it, will she live?"

He hears no reply. 

* * *

The next day, he anoints worshipers as they enter the temple. 

His heart clenches as he sees two young children approach with their grandmother. The children are adorable with soft brown hair and eyes. 

He has always wanted children to love and care for but with Mai’s illness...

Zuko refocuses himself and anoints their foreheads with holy oil as he recites the welcoming prayer. Afterwards, he serves them spiced tea. 

The little boy looks at him with wide brown eyes, “Are you new here?” 

“Uh, yes. I am.” The firebender stammers. 

The children narrow their eyes at him and whisper to each other. The little girl looks up at him and says, “You talk funny. You aren’t from here.” 

Zuko silently curses his Caldera accent. “You are right, I’m from Caldera.” 

“Caldera? Do you know the Fire Lord?” The girl asks excitedly. 

Zuko rubs his neck, trying to think of what to say as he cannot lie in a temple. “I can say that I know him. Most people in Caldera do.” 

The little girl smiles brightly at him, Zuko feels his heart turning to mush. “They say he’s pretty but he can’t be prettier than you.” 

The grandmother exclaims, “Miho! Girls are pretty, boys are handsome.” 

“Sorry, sir.” Miho says as she looks downward. 

Zuko places a hand on her shoulder. “No, it’s alright, little one. I like being called pretty.” 

Miho smiles as she and her brother continue to pepper him with questions about Caldera and his friend, the Fire Lord. 

Zuko walks with them to the main gate of the temple. “Ma’am, may I ask where their parents are?” 

“Their father is in the navy and their mother is in the home guard. She is stationed here in our town but my son is so far from us.” Her voice waivers as she clutches her grandson’s shoulders, “They miss him so much, especially this little one, Masao. My son should have returned from his deployment already but it keeps getting pushed back.” 

Zuko cups his chin, “What is his name and what ship does he serve on?” 

“What? Why?” The older woman asks with a look of bewilderment. 

“So that I may...keep him and all our naval officers in my prayers.” Zuko replies quickly. 

In the evening, Zuko sits in his bare room and writes a letter to Admiral Jeong-Jeong regarding the issue.

* * *

Ever since he started taking the tea he has not dreamed. So it would be inaccurate to describe what he experiences that night in the temple as a dream because it isn’t. It is a flash, a thread, an half-remembered tune as he drifts into that weightless place.

_The icy wind presses gentle kisses against his-her-their cheek as he-she-they walk through the snow with Sokka, each holding one of Bato’s hands._

_The three of them pick purple flowers and walk to a grave._

_Bato sings a mourning song as Katara and Sokka arrange the flowers on the grave._

_On the way back to the village, Bato carries Katara on his shoulders._

_“Little ones, thank you for coming with me to visit Tapeesa. When we reach the village, I’ll give you two some walnut cookies.”_

_“Thanks, Bato!” Sokka shouts._

_“Bato, Chena said her mom told her that Tapeesa is why you haven’t taken a wife...even though that widow who visited from the inner village wanted to marry you...is that true?”_

_Bato laughs but Katara can tell that it is one mixed with sadness and love. “Chena is right, Katara. I haven’t married because of Tapeesa.”_

_At that moment, Sokka joins the conversation. “But Tapeesa wasn’t your wife and she died a really long time ago.”_

_“Sokka!”_

_“It’s okay, Katara. Sokka, that's true, Tapeesa was never my wife but I loved her very much. And our people are not like others. Others, the dragons, the badgermoles, and the sky bison, they love and love over and over again but our people are wolves, we only love once.”_

_“Wolves...love...once.” Katara repeats slowly._

Zuko wakes and splashes his face with water and he remembers what his father said long ago. Maybe Katara has touched this water or traveled through it, maybe she has never been far from him even as he has been far from her. 

“Wolves love once,” he repeats as he sits on his bed mat and a chill passes through him. 

He covers his face in his hands as a deep sense of shame comes over him. 

(Katara has only loved him. Katara has been waiting for him.)

Zuko is again faced with a fact he has known and accepted for a long time. 

He doesn’t deserve her and he never has, but spirits, he needs her and he loves her.

* * *

He walks up the winding path on Bhanti Island and finds Sage Noi standing at the entrance of the temple as if she already knew to expect him. 

"How did you know I was coming?" 

"Some things are written in the stars, your majesty."

* * *

He strips down to his underwear and removes his eyepatch before entering the pool of spirit water. 

Zuko floats in the pool as Noi gives him instructions. “Your majesty, close your eyes and think of the happy memories of her life, the ones that shine the brightest. Concentrate on them and pull them towards you like a thread. Imagine the faces of her family and think of their names.” 

_Dancing at the Full Moon Festival-bending with Master Hama-spirit tales by the fire-cooking with Gran-Gran and Kya_

_Sokka's smile-the crinkle around Hakoda's eyes-Kya's laugh-Gran-Gran's singing voice_

“Now think of her name. Keep repeating it to yourself.” 

_Katara...Katara...Katara...Katara_

Zuko feels a surge of energy rushing through him and sees, feels, and lives through them-all the memories that he missed, that he pushed away from his heart and mind. 

_Katara going into a kayak to search for him, Katara learning to bend blood, Jet on Kyoshi Island, Chief Arnook and the Earth Kingdom delegates, the wedding, Bato bleeding in the snow, Katara drifting in the sea, and finally, Avatar Aang at the Southern Air Temple_

He opens his eyes and cries out, gasping for breath. He climbs out of the pool, totally drained, and takes deep breaths as his heart beats faster than a dragonfly-hummingbird. 

"Your majesty, calm yourself." Noi says as she drapes a warm towel around him; Zuko clutches the towel around himself as he raises his body temperature. 

"Where is she?" The woman whispers. 

Disoriented and dazed, he asks, "Who?"

"Your intended."

Zuko closes his eyes again. He can feel her, he knows exactly where she is. 

“The Southern Air Temple.” 

* * *

In the temple below a blue-black sky, the Fire Lord sleeps on a simple mat and finally, he dreams. 

* * *

He taps his foot on the floor as he sits in Mai's room. Zuko watches as his bedridden wife uses her delicate hand to bring pieces of a fruit tart up from her plate to her mouth. 

Mai begins in a low voice, "I think I might be the only person who saw this coming."

Zuko is silent as he sips his plum wine. 

"That fire lily chest was going to get used eventually," she declares with a sigh. 

The Fire Lord sets his glass down and speaks at a slow pace, "I understand if you do not wish to spend time with me anymore. I've caused you and your family great pain, and I am deeply sorry. I want you to know that I-"

His wife interrupts him, "I don't care what you do with your... _soulmate."_ Her tawny eyes harden, "You just won't ever divorce me."

"I-"

"I will not be put away, I am your wife." 

He whispers, "But what of the sages? Sage Noi said-"

She interrupts him, "Damn the sages, Zuko!" 

"Damn the sages? Mai, they've never been wrong! Not once! Do you know what you are asking? You could die!"

"We all die,” she breathes.

She looks out the window into the city, “I’ll take my chances.”

He looks down and notices her hands shaking slightly as she pushes her hair behind her ear.

Mai continues to look out the window and her voice raises slightly, “I-I think my parents would rather me be a dead Fire Lady than a divorced pariah.” Soberly, she adds, “My family will be nothing if we divorce. What of my brother's future? He would be shamed.”

Finally, she meets his gaze with glazed eyes, “And me? What could I do? Go sit in a temple, praying and fasting? That's worse than death, Zuko." 

"Mai, I-" 

Mai takes his hand and presses it to her lips, kissing his knuckles. "Zuko, if you love me...if you've _ever_ loved me, you will do as I wish. You owe me that much."

Zuko sighs and covers his eyes with his other hand. 

* * *

Ursa finds her son in the gardens. She sits beside him and he hands her bread to feed the turtleducks. 

“At first, I was angry with your father for dying," Ursa half-whispers. 

Zuko is silent as he continues feeding the turtleducks. 

Ursa continues, “You never saw your father fight in an Agni Kai but he was brilliant. Ozai was far greater than your uncle in his prime; I truly believe your father was the greatest firebender of this age. He wielded the flame like it was truly a part of him. There was a part of me that saw him as invincible so when I heard he died....I resented him for leaving us, leaving me." She places a gentle hand on Zuko's forearm. "But I knew he never wanted to leave me, that if he could he would have stayed with me, with all of us. Do you understand?” 

“No, I'm not sure that I do.” 

“You are angry with Mai, for being sick and slowly leaving you.”

Zuko lets out a sharp breath. "I am not angry with Mai for being sick, Mother. I am to blame for her illness. I am angry with her for loving her status more than her own life! The sages said she could die if I don't divorce her yet she refuses." 

The noblewoman gently squeezes her son’s forearm then places her hand in her lap. "Did you consider that it is not this place or her status that she loves but you?"

Zuko tries and fails to keep his voice steady as tears begin to fall down his cheeks, "I'm not worth loving that way, Mother. I'm not."

* * *

His crown gleams in the sunlight as he stands at the dock to see Iroh off. 

Zuko presents his uncle with a small blue box with a pattern of gentle waves. Iroh opens the box and sees a pearl engagement comb and a fire-opal ring that once belonged to Zuko's grandmother, Rina. 

The old dragon bites the inside of his cheek. “Nephew, what will I do if she refuses?” 

“She will not," Zuko says firmly. 

Iroh clenches his jaw, “How do you know? You’ve cut yourself off from her for years!” 

The Fire Lord adjusts his shenyi and looks down, peering into his uncle's eyes. “There are some things you just know, deep down in the marrow. I don’t know if she will ever be my wife in earnest, I know I don’t and will never deserve that from her, but she will marry me.” 

Iroh nods and hands the box to his attendant. 

“May Agni bless you, Zuko.” He bows before his nephew. 

“May Agni bless you, Uncle," Zuko returns the bow. 

Iroh walks onto the airship and watches his nephew shrink as the airship drifts up into the clouds. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments! I really enjoyed writing this chapter. I wrote it pretty quickly and I don't have a beta so I apologize for any errors.
> 
> I know Zuko is not in a lot of readers' good graces rn but I love this conflicted person who really made a mess of his own life and has to deal with the ramifications of his own actions. 
> 
> Yeah, so...Mai and her family, their reactions might seem very extreme and I meant them to be that extreme. In the show, her parents are status obsessed and I decided to keep that at the core of their character. I believe that divorce is normalized in FN society but if the Fire Lord divorces you, it would come across to the other nobles that something might be wrong with you. And if Zuko divorced Mai, her father would lose his favored status and privileges in court. Zuko's actions have a wide-reaching impact and that will be a thorn in his side for this story.
> 
> *1/4/20- light edits to the conversations with Mai and Ursa*


	7. VII

With the steady wind in her face, Katara pushes strands of her dark hair back as she flies cranefish kites with the children and Avatar Aang. 

Gaden is at her side, bending the breeze higher and higher, pushing the kites up towards the heavens. 

Later, Katara fiddles with her modified air nomad robes as they fly through the soft yellow-brown sea back towards the temple. 

“Did you enjoy your first Yangchen’s festival?” Gaden asks, with his hand draped on Appa’s saddle. 

With arched lips, Katara says, “Yes, I-I had a lot of fun. I haven't felt that free in a while."

Gaden nods in understanding. 

Sitting on Appa's head and holding the reins, Aang turns his head slightly, "I hope you are able to join us again, Princess. Maybe you could bring your _old friend_? That would be nice, wouldn't it?"

Katara blushes as the children giggle beside her. 

Gaden exhales, "Grandfather, must you always tease her?"

Aang lets out a loud laugh. "She will only be with us for so long, Gaden. I must take all the opportunities I can get." 

* * *

Katara's heart leaps into her throat when she sees the Fire Nation airship approaching the temple.

The children begin shouting, “Avatar Aang! Look! It's the Fire Nation!”

Katara turns towards the Avatar and pinches her brow. “Why didn’t you tell me Zuko was coming?”

Aang replies, “Princess, because it is not your intended.”

A strange mix of disappointment and ease comes over Katara. The waterbender lets out a breath, one she wasn't even aware she was holding. “So...they aren’t here for me?”

With a strange quality in his voice, one she cannot quite place, the Avatar replies, “Now, I didn’t say that...did I?” 

* * *

When she sees the old dragon, she composes herself and bows in the traditional Fire Nation manner, fist below her flattened hand. 

He bows back just as deeply-a bow to an equal, not to a person he considers to be of lesser rank than himself. 

Hesitantly, he asks, “Miss, do you know me?” 

Katara pauses, then states, “Sir, I’ve known you my whole life."

The man's smile is dry, but his eyes twinkle with mirth. “Good, that is what I wanted to hear.” 

He walks towards her and holds out his arm for her to take. 

Katara takes it and they begin walking up towards the upper levels of the temple. 

Her voice cracks as she murmurs, "Sir, your family has been in my prayers. I cannot imagine what you have gone through."

Iroh whispers, "I do not claim to truly understand your bond but it is my understanding that you and my nephew feel the same things. Pain, love, loss. So I guess you can imagine it because you feel their absence."

She mouths, "Yes, that is true."

He tilts his head as they continue walking up the steps. "I was saddened to hear of what was done to your family. We live in difficult times."

"Yes, we do," she agrees. 

"Miss, is your-" he begins and then takes his time to form his next words. "Is your _Gran-Gran_ here?"

She had known what he was here for but suddenly, the intention of Iroh's visit hits her so sharply that she cannot speak; she only nods in response. 

* * *

They stand outside of her grandmother's room as Katara pushes her braid over her shoulder. 

"Sir, why now?" she whispers. 

Iroh looks off into the distance, "I cannot speak for him as his reasons are his own but I can tell you what has been happening."

Katara nods as she holds back the torrent of emotions swirling inside her. 

"My nephew, he lived in a temple for months, denying himself all the comforts of his status. He spent his days praying, meditating, serving the sages and the people far from the capital. Searching.” 

“And what did he find?” 

“You.” 

* * *

Katara serves them air nomad tea with flour. 

Iroh takes a sip and his face lights up. "Ah! Master Katara, you have many talents. This is delicious."

Katara gives him a soft smile in thanks as Gran-Gran clears her throat. “Lord Iroh, why did he not come?”

Iroh sets down his cup. “Traditions, Elder Kanna. My nephew wishes to follow the old ways of both our peoples for this marriage.” 

Lord Iroh calls for his attendants to enter the room and they bring in cases of rice wine, tea, and plums. 

One attendant hands Iroh a blue box and he places the box in Katara's hands.

She opens it and runs her slender finger over the delicate jewels of the engagement comb and the ring.

Kanna inspects the gifts while giving away nothing of her true feelings. “Your nephew...when did he begin to follow the old ways?”

With a neutral expression, Iroh says, “When he started being punished for breaking them.”

Kanna's eyes lock with Iroh's in a look of shared understanding. "Her dowry," she begins, "is the Chuje Islands."

Something overtakes Katara, and suddenly she feels as if she has been set aflame. "What?" Katara exclaims. "No! He won't have that!"

"Katara!" Gran-Gran exclaims in disbelief. "It is not for him! It will be for your children!"

"We won't have children," she declares. 

"Katara," Gran-Gran cautions,"what are you saying?"

"I won't give him children. His other wife can do that!" Katara stands up and rushes out of the room. 

* * *

Katara dangles her legs over the edge of the temple and looks up at the sky, set aglow by the stars. 

“The bond between you and my nephew is ancient, unbreakable.” Iroh states. 

Katara looks over her shoulder at him. “That doesn’t matter, he already has a wife. Do you know how that makes me feel?” 

“You still love him," he breathes.

“That was never the question." Katara chokes, "He threw away what we had; threw it away before we even had the chance to begin.” 

Iroh kneels down to sit beside her, the two of them looking out into the edge of the world. “The sages, they ask for you.” 

“Why would they ask for me?” Katara queries as she fiddles with the end of her braid. 

With a rich timber in his voice, Iroh begins, “Agni chose you for Zuko, just as Tui chose him for you."

Katara exhales sharply and closes her eyes.

"You were not meant to live without him and I now see our country was not meant to live without you," Iroh rasps. 

Swiftly, Katara turns to face him. "What are you saying?"

"We have droughts, there are murmurs against him in court, and we have lost several of our gains in the war. And his wife, Mai, is dying before his eyes.”

 _Dying_ , she thinks as she remembers Mai running around in the gardens with Azula and Ty Lee. Someone so young, dying. 

"I did not wish to tell you this but the healers do not give her much time. Our god is a jealous god, he is punishing her for Zuko's acts."

She holds her breath as Iroh's voice breaks. "I didn't want that to be why you came, I wanted you to come for him."

"I don't know what to say, Lord Iroh. I don't know what they want me to do. Can I give you my decision tomorrow?"

* * *

In the soft darkness of her room, she opens the box and places the fire opal ring on her finger. The ring fits perfectly like it was made for her. 

"Tui, what am I meant to do?"

Her god does not answer because Katara already knows what is to be done, she has always known. 

* * *

She holds a basket as Avatar Aang gathers moon peaches from a tree.

Katara lets out a soft chuckle as Momo settles on her shoulder. "Shouldn't this be the other way around? I should be gathering the peaches while you hold the basket."

Aang sighs, "Let an old man have some fun. There are only so many things I can do these days." 

Katara walks with him as they take the moon peaches to the kitchen to make preservatives. 

Avatar Aang hums an old tune as they blanch the moon peaches. 

Katara transfers the moon peaches into cold water. "Are we not going to talk about it?"

"Oh! So you do appreciate my thoughts." he declares, wryly. 

Katara opens and immediately closes her mouth before declaring, "What? You are the Avatar! Of course, I do!"

Aang scoffs, "You could have had me fooled."

Later, after cooking all the preservatives and placing them into sterilized jars, Katara shares some warm tea and sweet buns with him. 

"Marriage can cause suffering. To avoid suffering, you must detach yourself from him."

"Detach myself? But isn't marrying him attaching myself to him?"

"Princess Katara, you must detach yourself from the idea of Zuko that you have created in your mind. It is the idea of him that has been causing you to suffer."

Katara continues sipping it tea as she listens intently, taking in every word. 

The Avatar clears his throat. "Zuko is a man, just as you are a woman. You must accept him for who he is, for what he is, the changes that he has gone through and will go through. Change with that Zuko and love that Zuko unconditionally, making the best of the circumstances you find yourselves in."

"And if I cannot?"

"You can, Katara. The gods would not have given you to each other, otherwise."

Katara taps her finger against the teacup. 

Softly, the Avatar questions her. "Can you live the rest of your life without seeing him? Even if you could only see him once?"

Her heart lurches at the thought.

"No, I don't think I can."

* * *

She finds Iroh in the library, reading the same Painted Lady scroll she had once read. 

A smile cuts across his face when he notices the ring on her finger and the pearl comb in her hair. 

With blue fire in her eyes, Katara says, “Your nephew has wronged me. I have prayed for him, cried for him, and loved him almost my entire life. And he has pushed me away, time and time again. Even marrying another while I was ready to wait until my dying day for him. He has been cruel to me for years and I don't understand why. I will not forget how he has treated me."

Katara furrows her brow as the smile remains on Iroh's face. The older man waits in the heavy silence for her to continue.

She crosses her arms and states, "I’ll marry him but I will not be his wife, not truly. I am only doing this for my people and my family. We are occupied, ruled by our enemies. I want to see my family freed and my brother sitting on Chief Arnook's throne. Will he help me do that?” 

Iroh gets up and takes her hand in his, “Master Katara, Zuko will do it. I vow that he will see it done.” 

Katara stares at him with piercing eyes and evaluates his vow. Satisfied, she replies, “Then I will help your people. I will help the Fire Lord and his _wife_." 

The odd way she says the word wife is not lost on Iroh. 

She adds, "I will stay by his side until the war is won.” 

“And after?” Iroh queries, half-excited, and half-nervous. 

She does not answer.

* * *

She sits between Gran-Gran's legs as she braids her hair for the journey. 

Katara has a question, one she has been meaning to ask for some time. "Gran-Gran, why didn't you say anything about his wife?"

Katara cannot imagine her opinionated and fierce grandmother who fled the North not having an opinion on her intended already being married. 

Gran-Gran is silent for a couple moments, seeming to choose her words carefully. "Your soulmate betrayed you, cutting you off from himself. He took another for his wife even after the gods picked you for him. He is haughty and arrogant. If you deny him yourself and eventually leave him, I will support you and we will welcome you home with open arms."

Katara rubs at her brow with her fingers. "I know there is more you wish to say."

Gran-Gran speaks in a hushed whisper. "We are not meant to go against the gods. Their god Agni is especially forceful, more forceful than the gods of other nations." She pauses, "His soul was split with your soul...not hers. If you are to share him, it will only be for a time. She is dying without you there and she may die even after you marry him."

As Katara's pulse beats in her ears, she declares, "No, I won't let her die. If I must, I will plead with their god for her. If he chose me to be Zuko's wife then I have his favor, just as Zuko has Tui's favor."

Gran-Gran presses a kiss to Katara's hair. "No matter what happens, remember you are not to blame. The blame falls on your soulmate and on his wife."

"I will still try to help her."

"I know. You wouldn't be Katara if you didn't." 

* * *

Over an intense game of pai sho, Lord Iroh invites Avatar Aang to accompany them for the wedding. 

The Avatar laughs heartily and says, "I will be attending the wedding but I cannot arrive yet or else everyone will think I did it."

Katara laughs and shakes her head. "Did what? Please for once, let us in on your secrets!"

The Avatar winks at her and simply says, "No."

At sunrise, the whole temple gathers to see her off with the young boys gathering moon peach blossoms and placing them in her hair. 

The temple elders place white paste on her forehead and pray blessings for her and Zuko's married life along with their children. 

She bites the inside of her cheek at that but accepts it all just the same. 

Afterwards, the elders give her advice on how to keep a harmonious married life with Zuko and she listens, storing it all in her mind.

Finally, when she gets to Avatar Aang, he leans in and whispers. "Now, I used to be young with urges so I understand what you are going through."

Katara blushes deep crimson but continues to listen. "Now, no matter how badly you wish to, you must not set eyes on him before the wedding. It is bad luck and your groom has had more than enough of that."

Finally, when it is time to board the airship, Katara bows before Gaden and Avatar Aang then promptly yelps when they bring her into a warm hug. 

"Thank you for everything," she whispers with tears in her eyes. 

"No Princess, thank you." Avatar Aang states. 

* * *

On the airship, Iroh begins playing Four Seasons on the tsungi horn and the crew badgers Katara to join on the pipa. Finally, after much begging and pleading, Gran-Gran even begins to sing for them. 

As Katara plays the pipa, she feels weightless yet tethered to the earth by some deep warmth. 

She realizes what the warmth is and why she now feels it. It is Zuko, after years away, he has finally let her back into his heart just as he has always been inside hers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in a couple hours so sorry for the grammatical errors, I don't have a beta. I hope you all enjoy! Thank you so much for the reviews. I don't know why but I am able to write this story pretty quickly when I have other WIPS and just nothing comes out when I try to write those. 
> 
> P.S. Could you all tell how much I love writing old man Aang? But don’t ask me how Appa is still around 😭.


	8. VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter but some big things happen in it!

Master Piandao walks the royal halls with the Fire Lord. Zuko is troubled, deeply troubled from his appearance. The young man has dark half-circles under his eyes and shuffles across the floor, present in the body but not in the spirit. 

Tentatively, Piandao asks, “Your betrothed...will she arrive on the island today?”

The young man gives him a listless glance, “Yes, she will.”

“Will you greet her?”

Zuko squeezes his eyes shut, then opens them, “No, Master Piandao. I will follow the old ways.”

Piandao nods and bites the inside of his cheek. The master finds himself without any more to say. After a failed dalliance in his youth, he swore off romance preferring to focus on self-enrichment. He does not regret his choice but as a result, issues of marriage and romance are as far off to him in mind and spirit as Avatar Wan’s life.

He opens his mouth but closes it when Zuko makes a sudden movement. 

The Fire Lord steps out into the garden and stands under the beaming sun. 

"Your majesty-"

Zuko holds his hand up, signaling for Piandao to pause. 

Suddenly, the young lord begins laughing and looks at Piandao with half-wild eyes. 

"Of course," Zuko snorts. "Of course, this would happen."

"What...is happening?" 

With a knowing smile, Zuko whispers, "Join me in the garden."

Piandao clears his throat and steps into the garden and pauses, feeling the mizzle against his hands and face. 

"Rain," he murmurs in awe. "The gods?" 

"No," Zuko replies. "I think it is her."

* * *

Katara has the curtains of her carriage parted as she travels towards the palace.

She takes in the smell, the warm and shining sun, and the vivid colors of the flowers and foliage. 

Astonished, she declares, “It is greater.”

“What?” Gran-Gran asks, sitting across from her on the plush red seating. 

“Somehow, this country is even better than my dreams.” 

Her small retinue stops at one of the royal family’s small lodges, just outside of the capital city. 

Katara removes her _weimao_ and smooths down her robe before she enters the lodge. 

Iroh introduces Katara and Kanna to her principal lady-in-waiting, On Ji, and her other attendants. 

Katara smiles at them all and tries to keep their faces and names distinct in her brain. 

They take tea with Iroh and On Ji in a bright room. Katara sips her tea as On Ji updates Iroh on the various court events that he has missed. The conversation glides in and out of her ears as Katara looks out the window. 

“Dear one, are you alright?” Gran-Gran asks gently. 

Katara turns back towards the others and sees the look of slight worry on Gran-Gran’s face. 

“I don’t know. I just need to go outside.” 

The waterbender rises and half-runs out of the house; Katara holds her palms out as the breeze shifts her skirt. 

She begins to chuckle as she hears the strumming against the rooftops and feels the wetness in her palms. 

“Master Katara-” Iroh begins as he, Gran-Gran, and On Ji chase after her. 

Katara’s braid falls over her back as she turns her head back towards them. 

Softly, as she thinks of Avatar Aang, she says, “That silly wonderful old man, this is what he was so happy about.”

* * *

Lady Michi of Caldera walks towards a bakery on the island of Kirachu. 

Just as she is about to enter the bakery to place her order, she feels a wetness against her hair and she looks up at the sky. 

And then it happens. 

It is as if a fever has overtaken the people and they begin to rush out of their businesses, schools, and homes; all running to feel the first rains in over a year against their skin. 

Michi gasps as people push past her causing her to fall to the ground. A young acolyte helps her stand. 

Michi brushes the dirt off her crimson robe and gives the young woman her thanks. 

"She did it," the woman mutters as she looks up at the sky, rain all around them. 

"Who?"

"The Fire Lord's wife."

A coil starts at the pit of her stomach and rises up towards her heart. Michi knows which wife she is talking about, the whole damned country knows of her already. The wife who was promised, the woman from across the seas. 

The woman continues speaking, totally clueless to Michi's identity. "The waterbender, she brought the rains with her. She blessed us."

In a fury, Michi rushes back to her family's home as the light shower becomes a torrent. 

She runs past the room where her daughter is sleeping and enters her bathroom. As she undresses, the wet articles of clothing make slopping sounds as they hit the pebble stone floor. 

Alone, in her tub, she weeps. 

* * *

With a few threads of sunlight left in the sky, Michi stands on the balcony next to her husband. 

The wood smell overtakes her nostrils as he exhales the smoke from his pipe. 

With a cry in her voice, she mutters, "Mai will be forgotten soon, if he hasn’t forgotten her already. I fear he never cared for her, not truly."

In the growing darkness, Ukano looks over at her with hard amber eyes. "No, dear one. Remember pride comes before a fall."

"What are you saying?" she breathes. 

"Nothing...everything."

"Ukano-"

He presses a kiss to her forehead, "Do not worry, dear wife. Just know that the sun always rises."

He walks back into the house, leaving his wife to stand under the rising night. 

* * *

Katara sits as her handmaiden Tung Mei styles her hair, tucking the dark mane into an elaborate knot and styling it with her pearl engagement comb. 

On Ji, clad in a pink _hanfu,_ takes in Katara's appearance. 

"My lady, you look beautiful. Fire Lady Dowager Ursa will be very impressed," the young woman smiles earnestly as Tung Mei nods in agreement. 

"Really?" Katara asks as she touches the pendant of her mother's necklace. 

"Yes, of course." 

A knock on the door takes On Ji's attention away from Katara. 

Katara listens as the young woman seems to be whispering intensely with the person at the door. 

On Ji returns with a neutral look on her face. "My lady, there are servants here to adjust the room dividers."

"Why?"

"The Fire Lord wishes to speak to you."

On Ji notices the fear beginning to settle in Katara's eyes and quickly adds, "He will speak to you from the other side of the divider and I believe he may allow me to remain in the room. If not, do not worry. He is an honorable man and will abide by the old customs."

* * *

Through the shoji, she can see the outline of a tall man, he is lean but she can tell that he is muscular.

 _Zuko_ , she thinks. _It is Zuko._ After all these years, he is so close to her but he might as well be across the seas. 

Blood rushes to her ears as she watches Zuko’s outline sit down across from her.

The man begins speaking in a low and raspy voice, "Lady On Ji, leave us."

Katara feels sweat against her brow as she watches as On Ji rise and leave the room. 

"Princess, I hope your journey was pleasant," he says. She closes her eyes, her heart calming at his voice. It is raspy but warm like spiced honey and all she wants is to hear more of it. 

"It was, your majesty. This is a beautiful country," she replies evenly. 

“I have wronged you and your family. I am sorry," he breathes. "I know my words mean nothing to you but I am sorry for what I have done. I hope to one day earn your forgiveness and be a worthy husband to you."

"You are right, your word has no value to me. A person is what they do, not what they say." Katara states firmly. 

She watches as his form slumps on the other side of the shoji. 

Katara takes a deep breath and speaks in low tones. “I have a question and I want you to be honest. Why did you do this to me? Why did you cut off our connection?” 

Hesitantly, he asks, "Do you...I mean...Do you really wish to know?"

She wipes the tears pooling in her eyes. "I asked! Of course I do!" Katara states harshly. 

He speaks so softly that she has to lean in towards the divider to catch every word. “It was your life, your joy, and your love that saved me. Your family, the village...you all helped me remember that there was a world outside of my pain. I wanted to die so often, I even prayed for it but you made me want to live. I will always be grateful to you for that.”

Her heart pounds in her chest as tears begin to fall down her cheeks. 

She sobs, "No, but you didn't answer my question. Why did you push me away?"

She feels him leaning against the divider, his voice a low rumble near her ear. "I couldn’t give you anything back. All I had was pain and torment and you didn’t deserve that. You deserve only love and joy.” 

She closes her eyes, his voice warming her like the fires of the polar nights. She feels herself forgetting, all the pain and anger he has made her feel. It is like those feelings are drifting away, leaving her with only love and him. She shuts her eyes tightly and forces herself to remember all the nights she spent crying and praying for him. The numbness she felt after she learned he was married. 

"What about your wife? You still made a life with her!"

"Katara-"

"Just say it. Say you didn't want me."

"I wanted you, I still want you."

"Stop lying! I mean nothing to you!"

Firmly, he asserts, "You are everything to me." Zuko adds, "You are so brave and strong, I saw and felt what happened in the North, how you escaped the prison. I'm so sorry about Bato-"

Instead of asking how he knows of such things, she clenches her jaw and says, "Fire Lord, I don't think I like you and I definitely don't trust you. If all you did was distance yourself from me, I could have forgiven you. I would have forgiven you." Flushed-face, she continues, "But you took another as your wife and only brought me here because she is dying. Either you think my presence will save her or you wish for me to replace her."

"Katara!" he half-shouts. 

She interrupts him, "No, Fire Lord, please allow me to finish."

The only sounds in the room is their breathing, hard and steady against the divider. 

In a hushed tone, she declares, "I will marry you and live here but I will not be a wife to you. I will not lay with you and I won't have your children. I will not build a family with you. I will try to save your wife and help your people; I expect you to save my family and help my people in turn." She blinks back the fresh tears, "Once this war is done and my family is freed, we will go our separate ways. Do you understand?"

Brokenly, he confesses, "I love you, I love you more than my own life." 

She bites her tongue to prevent herself from voicing that she feels the same. That she loved him before she even knew what love was, that she thought of him every day and wished for him every night, and that even if she tried to, she would never love another. Her chin trembles as she attempts to hide her cries.

In a low voice, Zuko promises her, "I will help your family for they are my own family and your people for they are my people. I would never force you to stay here with me and I will not try to find you after you leave."

"Why did you say that?" she rasps. 

"Because I love you just as you love me," he answers softly. 

Her throat feels swollen as her head swirls. Finally, she says, "If this is how you treat me while loving me, I would never wish to see how you treat those you even remotely dislike."

"Goodbye, my princess. I am sorry, for everything," the Fire Lord stutters as he leaves the room.

After she is sure he is gone, she lefts out a sharp cry and sobs into her lap. 

She feels a warm hand on her shoulder and fears that it is Zuko. She tilts her head up and smiles once she sees On Ji’s kind face.

On Ji takes her hand to help her stand and directs her to her futon. "My lady, let me get you some oolong tea and tea sandwiches. I will have a servant escort your grandmother here. I will also tell Fire Lady Dowager Ursa's lady-in-waiting that you are not feeling well."

Overcome, Katara nods as On Ji leaves the room. 

Katara moves to run her hands over her wrinkled blue robes and pauses, noticing they are shaking. 

* * *

Zuko's hand shakes as he brings up his glass of _baijiu_ to his lips. As he breathes in the sweet, floral scent, he hears Katara's voice in his mind. Her voice is the most beautiful sound he has ever heard. It is melodic and flows like running water, cleansing him, freeing him from his distress and pain. He would do anything to hear her laugh because of him instead of cry. Zuko sighs and brings the glass to his lips again. 

"What did you tell the poor girl? She canceled our tea and would not do such a thing without cause." 

Zuko looks up and places his glass on the desk as his mother stands in front of his desk. 

"The truth," he replies. 

Ursa narrows her deep amber eyes at him and waits for him to continue speaking. 

"I knew she would react this way, I’ve hurt her deeply. I don't deserve her respect or her affections."

Ursa's eyes soften as she approaches her son, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Oh my love, I'm sorry."

"Mother, you shouldn't be. This is all my doing," he sighs. 

"If you hope for her to one day forgive you, you must forgive yourself first," the noblewoman remarks. 

Zuko picks up the glass again, swirling the clear liquid. With a burdened grin, he replies, "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I know you all have been waiting for Zuko and Katara's first conversation and I hope I didn't disappoint. 
> 
> *update: thanks sampaguitamilktea, from now on Ursa will be known as Fire Lady Dowager*


	9. IX

Toph Beifong closes her eyes as the sharp wind and strands of sunlight hit her face. As the airship reaches Caldera, she hears a murmur progressively getting louder and louder. 

At her side, Ty Lee exclaims, “Wow! Toph look at the crowds of people! I think nearly the entire city is out there to greet us.”

“Ty, we have been over this. Toph is blind,” Azula declares as the roar of the crowd becomes near-deafening. 

Toph clutches the bars of the airship as they begin to land. The noblewoman smirks as she says, “Princess, I’m blind but I’m not deaf. I can’t see the crowd but I sure can hear them."

* * *

The city has been in a fever of excitement since Azula's arrival in the morning. All over the capital, there are dances and parties to commemorate her military and diplomatic successes. And why shouldn't there be? His sister is a marvel, the prodigy, and will go down as one of the greatest military minds in Fire Nation history. 

Azula regained the Hu Xin provinces, totally cutting off Earth Kingdom access to the Mo Ce Sea, and was able to secure the support of the Beifong family, the greatest of the Earth Kingdom noble houses. Their support was something the royal family had been trying to gain since Iroh was in swaddling clothes. 

He smiles as he takes a sip of sake, saying a quiet thanks to all the gods and spirits that his sister loves him. For if she didn't, he would have been ashes long ago as she sat upon the Dragon Throne.

On the dais of the royal ballroom, Fire Lord Zuko sits with Azula at his immediate right, looking down at the many tables of high nobles, talking and laughing. Further down from Azula, he sees his uncle and Ty Lee in a spirited discussion with Lady Toph while his mother makes conversation with Master Piandao and Admiral Jeong-Jeong. 

Zuko places his cup on the table and adjusts the collar of his heavy formal robes.

Azula leans in towards him and whispers, “Brother, it is a pity that my sister could not be here." 

The Fire Lord takes a soft breath then exhales it. 

"Yes, it is quite a pity."

Azula raises a delicate brow and smirks, “You don’t even know which sister I am referring to."

Zuko’s expression shifts as he attempts to swallow the lump in his throat. 

Azula remarks, "Mother explained to me your new dedication to the old ways but even if you were not, I doubt your little waterbender would be at your side."

Zuko rubs his knitted brow, too tired to be truly angry with her, as his sister continues, "You are out of favor with the both of them, are you not?”

He emits a slow breath and locks eyes with Azula, "Sister, I do not wish to speak of such things.”

Azula squints her eyes and is about to speak again when Zuko suddenly declares, "We should dance."

"Are you alright, brother?"

Zuko gives her a smile that doesn't meet his eyes. 

"Of course, I am."

Azula doesn't believe him. Why would she? Yet she cups her chin and says, "Fine, let's dance."

* * *

Katara follows the lanterned pathway as the skirt of her hibiscus pink _ruqun_ flows behind her. 

On Ji's brown fringe shifts slightly as she whispers, “My lady, his majesty will be most displeased if he finds out we snuck out of the palace.”

Katara adjusts her blush _pibo_ as she continues walking. "He can't expect me to just sit around in my room while the entire city is having fun. We'll get back before anyone even notices we are gone."

On Ji does not look convinced as they walk up the trail towards the house, already hearing the loud music and murmur of conversation. The young woman stops in front of the house and Katara reaches over to link arms with her.

The waterbender pleads with her vivid blue eyes, "On Ji, it will just be this once! Please?"

The noblewoman lets out a breath, "Fine, my lady. Just this once."

With a glint of mischief in her eye, Katara says, "On Ji, remember to call me Lanying and treat me just as you treat your other friends. If anyone asks, I am visiting from..." The waterbender taps her finger on her chin as she searches her mind for a name. She smiles and with wide eyes exclaims, "Yu Dao! How does that sound?"

"I guess it could work, _Lanying_."

Katara's grin widens and she pulls On Ji inside the house. 

"I am going to go get some food," Katara declares to On Ji before going off to the other side of the room. 

She walks past The Flamey-O's and maneuvers her way between the guests to reach the buffet table. 

To the side of the buffet table, a group of red-faced young people howl as they drink plum wine.

Katara takes some hippo-ox tail skewers and rice onto her plate as she overhears a particularly boorish man mentioning Zuko.

The man takes a large gulp of his wine as he continues speaking. "Now we'll definitely lose the war. He was too busy with his one wife to win battles and now that he has two, forget it! In a couple of years, we'll all be wearing green and bowing before statues of Long Feng." The man slurs his words as he continues, "Speaking of his two wives, do you think he'll jump from one bed to the other or have them both at the same time?"

Katara drops her plate and uses the plum wine in the glasses of the surrounding people to form an orb and drops it on top of the man, soaking him. With flushed cheeks, she exclaims, "You worthless piece of shit! How dare you speak of the royal house in such a manner? I could have you arrested for what you've said!"

Everyone at the party stops to look at them once the man immediately stands up and towers over her. "You little bitch!" He furrows his brow and his eyes widen as he takes in her appearance, "Wait, it's you! You must be the wife!"

Katara lowers her eyebrows and jabs a finger to the man's chest. "If you know who I am, then you'll get your ugly mug out of my-"

Suddenly, she feels someone grabbing her arm and pulling her away from the drunk man.

"Unhand me! What are you doing?" Katara growls at the well-dressed young man. 

He brushes his long bangs out of his face to glance at her as he takes her out of the house. 

"If you actually are who it seems like you are, you need to get out of here, now," he grumbles. 

Katara snaps at him, "I can't leave without my friend," as she tries to enter the house again but the man blocks the door. 

He huffs, "Your friend is sitting right there. I told her I would go in and get you."

Katara jerks her head to see On Ji crying on the porch. When their eyes meet, the young woman rises and overwhelms Katara in a hug.

"Oh, your highness! Please forgive me! I should have never let you come here!"

"Oh," Katara breathes as she places a comforting hand on On Ji's back. She looks up at the man and softens her expression. 

"I'm sorry, sir. Thank you for your help."

With a half-grin, he says, "My name is Ruon-Jian, your highness and the pleasure is all mine." He lowers his voice to a near-whisper, "I hope I will see you again."

"Thank you again for your help but I don't think you will," Katara replies as she grabs On Ji's wrist, the two young women beginning to half-run back towards the palace.

* * *

The next day, Katara wakes up and eats a light breakfast with her grandmother before Lo and Li come for her lessons.

She forces herself to pay attention as they go through Fire Nation etiquette, history, military, and governmental affairs. Afterward, they escort her to her wedding dress fitting and help her select the jewelry she will wear for the ceremony. 

That afternoon, she plays pai sho with Lord Iroh as she often does. 

In his finely decorated sitting room, Lord Iroh moves his boat tile over one of her tiles. In the old tongue, he asks, "Your lessons, how are they going?"

Katara captures his rose tile with her jasmine tile and replies, "They are going well. I now can speak in-depth about the Camellia-Peony War."

Iroh smiles, "Your accent. It has improved greatly, it is as if you have been speaking the old tongue your entire life."

With a smirk, Katara says, "That is because I have."

* * *

Across the palace, another meeting is occurring, one that might as well take place in the screeching howl of the arctic winds. 

Kanna stares down at the young man in front of her as she takes a sip of green tea. 

The Fire Lord is tall, as promised, and handsome, as promised, but she does not care for such things. After all, Pakku was handsome, _once_. 

To make a life with someone, your souls must be able to recognize each other in the dark. To know with certainty that you are both made of the same mind and spirit. 

He sits there with his glittering crown and finely-made silks and looks at her with sharp eyes. Soberly, he states, "I love her."

"And she loves you." The lord's golden eyes widen slightly as he takes a sharp breath.

This puzzles Kanna, the young man already knows this but he acts as if this is new. And maybe it is. Maybe their love feels new and bright, each day coming to them like the tail end of a pleasant dream. She will ask Katara about it later, how is feels to love someone in such a way. 

She continues, "But to build a marriage and a family one must have more than just love."

"Elder Kanna, I understand," he mutters. "I do."

"Why?" Kanna queries. 

The young man looks at her and she can almost see his entire history etched onto his face. He has known pain, hunger, loss, and violence. He knows those things well but she can also see the love in him. A deep love. A love that only the gods could give you. 

He speaks in a hoarse whisper, one of lament but also of love, "I thought it would be easier to lose her if I never had her.” 

“Was it?” 

“No.”

* * *

Katara sits in the garden as On Ji teaches her how to play an ancient love song, a sad one on the erhu. 

She alternates between placing and removing pressure on her middle and ring fingers as she moves the bow.

Through the trees, she can see a woman in a crimson circular collar robe approaching. 

She is very beautiful with a doll-like face and intelligent eyes and Katara recognizes her immediately. 

_Azula_ , it is Azula. 

She and On Ji rise and bow before her. 

Azula returns the bow and glances at On Ji. The young woman looks at her with a blend of respect and fear and leaves the garden with the erhu.

Azula gives her a smile, one that Katara wouldn't necessarily describe as kind or gentle. "Master Katara, please join me for a walk."

Katara grabs the skirt of her blue _heziqun_ and walks alongside the royal. 

"You are beautiful," Azula declares as if she didn't expect Katara to be.

Katara remembers Azula. The little games she would play with Zuko, Mai, and Ty Lee. How she would even cheat at hide and seek. Katara resolves to not let the princess get to her. She coolly replies, "Thank you, your highness. You are also beautiful. I believe you favor your mother."

Azula's brow pinches slightly as they stand under a large dogwood tree, one covered in white flowers. 

Azula takes in Katara's appearance. Her well-made dress and her thick hair, done up in a bun with lotus flower hairpins and pearls. "You are beautiful and healthy and you appear just as my friend is withering away. Why?"

Katara adjusts the sky blue _pibo_ on her shoulders. She declares, "The sages told Zuko that she was cursed."

Azula cups her chin. "Yes, I heard such things. The sages coming in and out of her room each day, bringing incense and chanting ancient prayers."

The princess sighs and brushes white petals out of her bangs. "I will not claim to understand the spirits or truly seek understanding of them. That is something I will leave to my brother and uncle. "

"Are you accusing me of purposefully causing her illness? She was already ill by the time I found out Zuko was married. Zuko is the one who sent for me, I did not come here on my own."

"I didn't say anything. You said all that," Azula says with a lift in her voice. 

Katara exhales sharply, "I would never do anything to hurt her! I came here to try to help her and your people. Up until I arrived here it hadn't rained in over a year."

With piercing eyes, the fire princess challenges Katara. "I heard something quite different. An imprisoned family, an occupied people. To me, it sounds like you need our help." 

Katara concedes, "I do, this is meant to be a mutual agreement."

"So you are trying to tell me you have no interest in my brother, in staying here and popping out a little brat or two?" Azula muses with a smirk. 

"No, I don't," Katara maintains but Azula can see right through her. Her true feelings can be easily ascertained by looking at her eyes. 

"You are lying. You know you want to stay here but you are embarrassed to say such a thing, to know it within yourself." Azula quickly retorts. 

"Fine, I love him. But once Mai is healthy again, he won't need me," Katara says, letting her pain come through in her voice. 

Azula throws her head back and laughs. "Spirits, you are wrong. You don't even know how wrong you are."

* * *

They speak with the shoji between them. The two of them alone in the room, with just threads of light coming through Katara's window.

Zuko clears his throat before questioning her. “My princess, do you wish to have a traditional water tribe ceremony?”

Her breath catches in her throat. 

_A traditional water tribe ceremony....he wants to know if she wishes to have a traditional water tribe ceremony._

She feels a warmth building low in her stomach and spreading through her body. 

He wants her to feel comfortable, to have a piece of her home with her. 

Katara bites her lip because he doesn't understand what that means.

“No, Fire Lord, it is not necessary for us to have one,” she asserts. 

There is a pause before Zuko speaks again. “I think I understand."

Katara begins to flush. _But this doesn't make sense? Does he mean that he knows what it entails but he still asked? Oh spirits,_ she thinks. 

"Really?" The waterbender asks as her voice begins to trail off.

Zuko's voice turns sharp. "Yes, of course. It is fine for us to be married in my nation's customs but your customs are off limits. They are too sacred for the likes of me to take part in, right?" 

"What are you-"

He interrupts her and she can hear the hurt in his voice. "If we married in your traditions then this would be real for you, right?" Zuko hesitates, “This is just a temporary situation and once you leave, you'll forget this even happened, that I even existed. I understand that you’ll leave me but do you have to pretend that I was never a part of your life?” 

"Zuko, no! That's not why!"

He lets out a breath and she can hear the joy and awe in it. "Zuko...you said my name. You've never said it before."

Katara blushes and runs her finger along the divider. How could something as simple as saying his name bring him joy? 

Gently, she says, "Zuko, I'm sorry. I thought you knew what the traditional water tribe wedding customs were but I see that you don't."

"No, I don't," he replies. 

She laughs softly, he was willing to marry her in customs he didn't know or understand. 

"They are not like Fire Nation weddings. Our traditional weddings are very focused on fertility, children, and consummation." Her blush deepens and she whispers a quiet thanks to Tui and La that Zuko cannot see her. Katara clears her throat and hesitates, "After the first ceremony, a female elder waits outside of the room and after the bride and groom...uh...lay with each other, she goes into the room and takes the sheets to show to the parents. Also couples are not considered to be truly married until their first child is born."

"Oh!" Zuko exclaims. 

"Yes, uh, oh." 

Zuko stammers and the words begin tumbling out of his mouth. "Did you think that I knew and that's what I wanted?" 

"Yes! I mean, no! I mean, I wasn't sure!" The waterbender stumbles and covers her face in her hands. 

"That's not what we agreed to. I wouldn't have asked if I knew. I'm sorry."

"No, uh. Zuko, I'm happy that you cared enough to ask."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

Katara fiddles with the sleeve of her dress as she continues to blush and tentatively begins, "Zuko, I, uh..."

"It's okay, Katara. I know."

* * *

It is a cloudless and calm day as Katara and On Ji search for Azula along the great lake of Caldera. 

Katara clutches her umbrella tighter and she narrows her eyes trying to make out the princess among the other high nobles. 

Katara spots Azula and Lady Toph Beifong sitting in the shade of an oak tree and leisurely she and On Ji walk to meet them. 

After introductions are made, the four of them sit enjoying red bean buns and fire flakes as they discussed the social season. 

At that moment, a crane lands on the other side of the shining lake. 

"A crane!" On Ji exclaims. She then turns to Katara, "This is a sign that your marriage shall be blessed, my lady."

"What? Where?" Toph asks.

"Lady Toph, the crane is directly across from us," On Ji says as Azula hides a chuckle behind her fan. 

Katara takes that moment to look at Toph's eyes. Earlier, she had noticed something distinct about the milky green of Toph's eyes but now she recognizes it. "You are blind," she whispers. 

"Really, Sugar Queen? I didn't know. Thank you for telling me." The earthbender replies with a shrug.

"I'm sorry that I didn't notice earlier." Katara states, trying to hide her embarrassment. 

"It's okay, in comparison to other people, it didn't take you all that long." Toph declares as she blows her bangs out of her face. 

"Also Sugar Queen? Why?" Katara queries as she tries to keep her voice even. 

"Isn't it obvious?" Toph remarks. "You are about to marry a ruler!" 

And somehow, in that moment, it truly sets in for Katara. 

She is about to marry Zuko.

 _Zuko_ , the person she has loved her entire life. The person who she once thought was her own past life. Zuko, the other piece of her soul, the other half of her heart. Soon, they'll be married. And when she returns across the seas, she'll be able to take those precious moments, all the love and joy she felt with him and live on them until the moment she died. 

"Are you okay?" Toph asks. "Your heart started beating really fast."

Instead of asking how in the four nations Toph could tell that, Katara lets out a soft hum. The waterbender looks out onto the silver and blue waters and curves her lips upward.

"I'm fine, I'm just fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I’m not sure how I feel about this chapter, it felt very disjointed as I was writing it. The part I’m happy about is that I introduced some new characters (Toph!!!!) and reintegrated others. Azula is a hard character for me to pin down in this AU. She has a mean streak but she and Zuko were never pitted against each other and she was raised in a happy family. Azula loves both Mai and Zuko so she wanted to figure out Katara and this hold she has had over Zuko his entire life. 
> 
> Next chapter is the wedding which I am so so so excited about. Ahh!! I cannot wait to post that one. It might take some more time because I am blending traditions from three different cultures for it and I have to do some more research.
> 
> P.S. If anyone is confused as to why Katara couldn't go to Azula's celebration banquet, she can't be in the same place as Zuko without some barrier to prevent them from seeing each other.


	10. X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter definitely earns the M rating 👀.

Kanna hears the songs of the night birds as she walks with Zuko in the lush royal gardens. 

With the glimmering moon as their witness, they kneel in the soft grass as Kanna prays in the old water tongue. With a gentle hand, Zuko guides the koi fish into the pond, and she hears him whisper words in the old water tongue.

She sits with him, watching as the blue and red asagi koi adjusts to its new home. The fish flexes its body and tail as blue eyes follow its movements. 

In the old water tongue, she states, "I did not expect you to remember the old tongue."

In the water tongue, he takes his time to form his words carefully as they do not flow for him. With several pauses, he says, "I remember everything. As Katara was learning about the Fire Nation, I was learning about the South Pole."

In the common tongue, she questions, "Why have you not called me grandmother?"

He turns his head and meets her gaze. "I did not know that I was allowed to."

"Do not act this way," she protests. 

He looks at her with soft eyes. "May I ask how I am acting?"

Kanna sighs and smooths down her indigo silk dress. "As if you did not dream as Katara did and live as she did. I know that I was a grandmother to you long before this day."

The Fire Lord bites his lip and looks out into the pond. After a moment, he admits, "It is strange, I know so much of you and you know very little of me. As a child, I knew you all were not my blood family but what I felt and experienced in my dreams..."

She leans in and places a hand on his shoulder. He lets out a long breath, "How do you not hate me for what I've done to her?"

"I have known of you and Katara has loved you her entire life, so I love and accept you, trusting that the gods chose well for her. Their blessings are not given easily," Kanna remarks. 

In the old tongue, Zuko murmurs, "Thank you, Gran-Gran." 

Kanna's lips curve upwards and because it feels right, she replies, "You are welcome, dear grandson."

* * *

Her ladies wake her long before dawn to begin preparing for the wedding.

Katara bathes with lavender water and has her hair sprayed with jasmine. On Ji supervises as her maids dress her in an elaborate white silk gown with red and gold accents. 

She sits in her vanity, fiddling with her fire opal ring as Tung Mei styles her braided updo with a set of gold and ruby _bu yao_ and a matching ornamental comb. 

Later, she asks for privacy as her Gran-Gran enters the room to inspect her appearance. She watches as Kanna's eyes take in her powdered rich skin, kohl-rimmed eyes, red lips, and groomed brows. Her heart calms slightly at the pleased look on Kanna's face. 

The two of them sit on her plush futon with Kanna's gentle hand on top of hers.

With a break in her voice, Gran-Gran states, "I do not wish for you to cry so do not. You are so brave and I am so proud of you. Your mom, dad, and Sokka are proud of you. Though they are far, we can feel their love in us, can't we?"

Katara thinks of her mom, dad, and brother and feels their strength and bravery in her. She lets out a soft yes in acknowledgement of her grandmother's words. 

The older woman whispers, “How does _he_ make you feel?”

Katara closes her eyes and thinks of him as her heartbeat quickens. 

She finds it difficult to articulate the way Zuko makes her feel but for her grandmother she tries. Tentatively, she begins, “You know that every day there will be snow outside." Her eyes flitter shut as she continues, "But on the first day of winter, you wake and the snow is fresh and pure and beautiful, fanning out in front of you like a white sea. And you can only marvel at how wonderful and beautiful the world is, of how precious it can be." Her wide blue eyes open as she studies the look on her grandmother's face. "Loving him feels like that, every single day. Does that make sense?”

With a soft nod, Kanna answers, “Yes, yes it does," as she squeezes her granddaughter's hands. 

In the soft silence of her rooms, Katara notices how Kanna's expression shifts slightly. 

Firmly, her grandmother says, "It is okay, little fish. It is okay that you wish to stay with him."

It takes Katara a moment to find her words. "How did you know?"

With a reassuring smile, Kanna says, "Your words but mainly your eyes." 

Katara looks downward and touches the ring; Gran-Gran follows Katara's gaze and simply says, "You should tell him."

Katara breathes, "I think I am afraid."

"Of what?"

"I don't know."

Kanna leans over and presses a featherlight kiss to her forehead. “You will be fine, dear. This is where the gods wished for you to be.” 

Katara nods and gives her grandmother a soft smile. It is true, Zuko was chosen for her just as she was chosen for him. The gods would not lead them astray, not in this. 

With a smirk, Kanna muses, "And to think, you haven't even seen what he looks like yet."

Katara furrows her brow, "What is that supposed to mean, Gran-Gran?"

* * *

Later, just as her ladies are about to place the white veil on her head, Fire Lady Dowager Ursa enters the room with one of her attendants. Katara takes in the elegant woman's appearance, her finely-made red dress, the golden flame in her hair, and her ruby jewels.

Ursa gazes at her future daughter, a look filled with joy and pride. A slow smile forms on her face as the noblewoman declares, “You are absolutely stunning. In fact, I think you are a dream. Zuko will be speechless.” 

Katara flushes in thanks and hesitantly says, “I don’t think I’m ready for this.” 

Ursa takes Katara’s hand and presses a kiss to the fire opal ring, her mother's ring. "You might not think so but you are.” 

* * *

It is not his first wedding but he feels almost overcome by nerves. As his attendants dress him in his red and black wedding robes and Uncle talks his ear off about the yin and yang polarities of marriage, Zuko comes up with a variety of scenarios in his head about the wedding.

First it began with simple things like _What if it rains?_ or _What if he messes up his vows?_

Then these thoughts escalate to the more absurd ones like _What if Katara runs away?_ or _What if someone tries to attack the ceremony?_

He tries to calm himself by drinking a glass of _baijiu_ and is about to pour himself another when Iroh interrupts him. 

"Nephew, I know you have already been wed but I think you should probably be sober for this. I believe your bride deserves that much."

Zuko sighs and sets down his glass as Iroh calls an attendant over to style his hair.

Afterwards, Zuko gathers his traditional gifts of incense, dried herbs and fruit, placing them inside the red rotund _hebao_ at his hip, next to his pearl-handled dagger. 

He and Iroh ready themselves to walk to the temple to pray and give offerings to Agni. 

As they leave his rooms for the temple, Zuko looks up at the starry sky and the full moon.

"Fire Lord Zuko and Lord Iroh, many blessings upon you on this most auspicious day."

Zuko's uncovered eye widens as he recognizes the figure in the lantern light. 

After the three men greet each other, Zuko tentatively says, "Avatar Aang, we were not made aware of your arrival. Many apologies for not greeting you as you arrived."

The Avatar shakes his head, "That is because I just arrived. May I join you both at the temple?"

* * *

Zuko kneels before the statue of Agni and whispers the sacred words. 

After completing the prayer, he looks up at the statue. In a hushed voice, he says, “Forgive me. Forgive me for believing that I could ever live without her. Now that she is here...I,” his voice trails off. He thinks of the lift of her voice, and flooded with emotions, he concludes, “I will love and care for her for the rest of my days.”

Zuko thinks of Mai, his intelligent and beautiful wife, fading away on Kirachu. He hates himself for being the reason she is dying, that their marriage is the cause of her suffering. He loves her but she is not who he wants to be with, not truly. 

The Fire Lord whispers, "Please, let Mai live. Please."

Again, he hears no reply. 

* * *

Avatar Aang and Fire Lord Zuko sit on a bench in the temple, drinking spiced tea. 

The young man is tall and lean with sharp features and thick black hair. 

With a laugh, he thinks, _Princess Katara will be quite pleased_. 

"Excuse me?" Zuko queries as a soft blush appears on his cheeks and Aang realizes that he spoke his thoughts aloud. 

Aang quickly replies, "Oh, nothing, Fire Lord Zuko. Just an old man rambling."

The firebender narrows his eye and takes another sip of the spiced tea. He clears his throat and falters, "May I ask you a question?"

"Of course," The Avatar says gently, looking at the young man with wide grey eyes. 

"Why have you not intervened in the war? Are you not the Avatar? Is that not your purpose? So many people are suffering. Katara's family and my family...."

Aang sighs and looks down into dark orange liquid. 

He is not surprised the young man asked him this, in fact he was surprised he didn't ask it as soon as he appeared in the palace. The Caldera dragons are not ones to mince words, they are sharp and forceful like the element they wield. 

Aang has spent many hours, praying, meditating, and debating his own purpose, his role in the world. His ideas and feelings on being the Avatar have changed as he aged. He never truly felt comfortable with it, he supposes few Avatars ever truly did. When he replies to Zuko, he replies with the weight of all the struggles and trials of his life.

As he looks up into Zuko's bright eyes, sensing Sozin's focus and intensity in them. He begins, “There comes a time where even the Avatar must let the world move on its own. I am not a kingmaker or a ruler, before I was the Avatar I was a monk.” 

Zuko sets down his cup and peers intently at the monk. “What of balance?” 

Ah, _balance_. 

With glinting eyes, the Avatar replies, “There is already balance. Four nations, four elements, four cultures, all sharing this one world." The Avatar tilts his head slightly, "For example, you and your soulmate represent balance. One soul split in two bodies, soon to be joined together in marriage."

The young man pinches his brow, "What does Katara being my soulmate have to do with the war? This conflict began long before we were born."

"My people are not like yours. We do not live as the other three peoples live. We have devoted ourselves to things of the spirits choosing to detach ourselves from world affairs. We are no better or worse than the others, we just are. A great tragedy how the North chose to ally with the kingdoms of earth, betraying Katara's family. But with your marriage, with the joining of your blood, the South will now be allied with the Fire Nation. The Northerners with the peoples of the earth and the Southerners with the peoples of fire. Balance."

Aang watches as the young man's face shifts, seemingly torn between two or three different emotions. The monk watches as the young man settles on dejection. Hoarsely, Zuko voices, "She will not stay with me." 

With an open gaze, the Avatar replies, “Some things are written in the stars, your majesty. Katara is meant to be your wife just as your children are meant to be born.” 

A heavy pause overtakes the young man and with deep eyes, Zuko breathes, “Children?” 

The Avatar nods as a soft smile appears on his face. 

The young man stammers, “What of Mai? Is she meant to die?” 

The Avatar looks away from the Fire Lord. With sympathy, Aang states, “I am not a god, Fire Lord Zuko. I do not know all of what is to come.” 

With a pinched face, Zuko rasps, “You are closer to a god than a man.” 

Aang looks downwards and muses, "You are right."

* * *

Katara exits the carriage as a new freshness takes over the world. She looks up as the golden petals of light spread across the sky. 

The waterbender is about to enter the temple when she hears someone clearing their throat. She jerks her head and through the veil, she can recognize the bright yellows and oranges. 

"Avatar Aang!" Katara exclaims in a near whisper as she glides towards the old man. 

The old man brings her in for a warm hug. "Hello, princess. Do you understand now?"

With mirth in her voice, she says, "Hello, you dear dear man. Why are you not inside the temple?"

The Avatar throws his head back and laughs. "I am here to ask if I may escort you. What do you say?"

With shining eyes, she quickly replies, "Yes, of course. I would be honored."

* * *

Zuko forces himself to keep a neutral facial expression as he waits for Katara to enter the temple. 

He feels the warmth and energy in his veins as the sun rises higher and higher in the sky. 

Zuko is focused on the sensation when he hears a gasp in the temple as two figures enter the temple. He imagines many in the audience are shocked at the appearance of Avatar Aang. The old man has not ventured outside of the temples in almost forty years and for this to be the occasion he visits the Fire Nation speaks highly of Zuko's status as a Fire Lord and Katara as his bride. But he cares not for such things. For once he sets his eyes on her, it is as if she is all there is in the world. 

Escorted by the Avatar, a slender young woman with soft curves walks towards him. 

Katara is not very tall but she is quite graceful and carries herself as a true ruler. 

Once she reaches the altar, he kneels alongside her as Avatar Aang takes his place with Iroh over to the side.

Her face is obscured by her veil but he can see her vivid blue eyes. 

_Spirits of the Islands, her eyes are blue._

In front of them is a low table with incense and figurines of good fortune for their marriage: a bonsai tree, a turtleduck, a crane, and an elderly couple. 

Great Sage Shyu places a white veil over both their heads and recites a prayer of purification in the old fire tongue. 

He removes the veil over them once the prayer is finished and says the vows of marriage to Zuko in the old tongue. 

"Zuko, son of Ozai, will you take this woman as your wife and become her partner? Do you promise to love, respect, comfort, and protect this person through sickness or health, poverty or wealth, beauty or plainness, in both good times and bad until death?"

"I promise."

With a slightly flushed face, Zuko listens as Katara vows to do the same. 

Finally, Sage Shyu looks down at them then out at the people. “I declare Princess Katara of the Southern Water Tribe wife of Fire Lord Zuko of Agni's most favored line, son of heaven, ruler of the Fire Nation and all its peoples. Their spirit is united forevermore and may Agni and Tui bless them for the rest of their days.” 

Zuko's hands shake slightly as he lifts her veil and he forces himself to hold in the sharp breath he was about to exhale. She is so beautiful, more beautiful than he even imagined possible. 

A smile forms on his face as he takes in her delicate features-the slope of her nose, high cheekbones, full lips, and striking almond-shaped eyes. 

Zuko watches his wife pout slightly and lean in towards him, realizing that they should have kissed already. He quickly leans in to meet her, their lips brushing against each other softly. 

The crowd applauds as Zuko and Katara rise to bow towards them but he can hardly hear them over the rapid beating of his heart. 

* * *

When his lips brushed hers, it was like she was breathing for the first time, living for the first time. 

Katara forces herself to focus on the tea ceremony as her attendants pour the lotus seeds and red date tea. While kneeling she takes the cups in both hands and serves their family the tea, making sure to address them using kinship terms. 

Her heart races as she sees Zuko out of the corner of her eye doing the same and Katara has to steady herself before she falls over. She prays that no one notices her momentary distress but she looks over and catches a soft smirk on On Ji's face. 

Neither of them have particularly large families, especially with her only having her grandmother present, so it does not take long for them to finish the ceremony. 

Afterwards, she stands at Zuko's side, noting that he is more than a full head taller than her as she feels the faint warmth radiating off of his body. They listen carefully as Uncle Iroh, Gran-Gran, and Ursa offer words of advice. 

Katara immediately puts on the dragon and phoenix bangles given to her by Ursa and hugs their relatives before they return to the palace. Even Azula, who does not particularly enjoy physical affection, hugs Katara warmly. 

As she and Zuko are escorted to their carriage, Katara takes the time to truly look at him. For years, she had tried to fashion a face for him in her own mind, taking various features from his relatives-Ozai's jaw, Ursa's mouth, Azulon's nose, Azula's smile, Iroh's eyes, and Lu Ten's hair-to try to figure out what Zuko looked like. She always fell short, never feeling that she had come close to capturing _him_. 

Zuko, _her_ Zuko, looks worthy of his station with his noble bearing and strong jaw. His hair is as dark as a moonless night and his pale skin is smooth like porcelain. He is beautiful. 

Although he looks most similar to his father, his features belong to him alone to her. 

Her husband guides her with a warm hand into the carriage, his crown glittering in the sunlight. 

Once she is seated, Zuko smiles at her and she swears that all of the sun shines in his uncovered eye. 

* * *

They sit silently in the carriage towards the palace, neither of them willing to break the beautiful silence as they stare at each other. 

Zuko takes in her elaborate updo and how soft her thick hair looks, wishing that he could feel it against his skin. 

The Fire Lord bites his lip as he considers what to say to his bride and without even thinking, he says, "I expected you to be taller."

Katara's eyes widen slightly at his comment and he curses his awkwardness. He could have said anything, literally anything else. _Do you have any idea how beautiful you are? Are you comfortable? Would you like to visit the gardens before the banquet?_

Teasingly, she replies, “I’ll have you know, your majesty, that I am taller than all the other women in my village along with some of the men." Katara crosses her arms and his attention is drawn towards the bangles at her wrist. "It is not my fault that you chose to be taller than almost this entire country so you tower over me." His eyes meet her gaze and she states, "Perhaps you should sit in our portraits.” 

He looks out the window out into the passing city and sighs, “Please don’t call me that in private.” 

“What?” 

“Your majesty or Fire Lord for that matter.” 

He turns back towards her and sees the puzzled look on her face. “But you call me your princess?” 

With a soft blush on his cheek, he stammers, "That's very different, Katara."

She flushes, realizing the difference in tone and intent. Quietly, almost so quietly he could not hear her, she concedes, "I guess you are right, Zuko."

* * *

After enjoying their meal and dancing to a couple songs, Katara sits at Zuko's side on the dais. 

She picks up her cup of sake and takes another sip as Zuko raises an eyebrow at her. 

Her husband leans in towards her and whispers in her ear, causing a shiver to go down her spine. 

"Dear wife, I would take a break from the sake for now."

"Are you saying that you think I can't handle my liquor?"

With a soft smile on his lips, he says, "No but you'll see."

She soon understands what Zuko means when all the guests line up to offer their well wishes and share a toast with them. 

The line of guests feels endless as the lanterns glow above their heads and the band continues to play music. 

Her eyes flutter shut just for a moment and when she opens them she sees a young man in front of them. His features looks faintly familiar to her; her eyes widen slightly once she realizes the it is the man who helped her at the party, _Ruon-Jian_. 

He gives no sign of having met her previously aside from a slight emphasis on her name and title. "Hello, Fire Lord Zuko and Princess Katara. Many blessings for your union."

After Ruon-Jian leaves, Zuko looks at her out of the corner of his eye but says nothing, smiling as a new set of guests approach. 

Later as fireworks light up the sky, she and her ladies listen to Toph talk about her days as a wrestling champion. As Toph describes her last prize-winning fight, Katara overhears Iroh, Ursa, and Zuko whispering in the old tongue, only managing to catch some of their conversation. 

"Shameless people, utterly shameless."

"Your father never trusted them, not even in our youth."

"Mother, Father didn't trust anyone outside of the family. And Uncle, isn't a family illness a legitimate excuse to not attend a social event? According to the old ways, we should not even want them to attend, lest the illness bring bad luck."

"This is not a social event, nephew! This is the wedding of their ruler, their ruler who is also their son-in-law!"

"Please! I do not wish to speak of this any further. I wish to retire."

When their eyes meet, she is flustered under his heated gaze. She says her goodbyes to Toph and her ladies and approaches Zuko, On Ji following behind her at a distance. 

Her husband offers her his arm and hoarsely, in the old tongue, he whispers, "I wish to be alone with you."

She blinks several times but does not respond, so in the common tongue, he says, "It is quite late, we should retire."

Looking up at him through her dark lashes, "I heard what you said. I heard what you said the first time."

* * *

Her maids take off her dress and place her in a soft white nightgown and long robe. Tung Mei brushes out her dark hair, letting it fall loose around her. 

On Ji clasps her hand softly and gives her an encouraging smile and escorts her to the bed chamber. 

Once she enters, she expects to be alone with Zuko but she is not. There is an elderly couple sitting on the bed. 

Zuko introduces her to them and the couple teases them about how lucky the bed feels before offering well wishes. 

After the elderly couple leaves, she looks around the beautifully decorated and candle lit chamber filled with golds and reds. Their magnificent red silk bed with gold detailing is decorated with bags of rice, gold coins, and dates to symbolize fertility and happiness. 

Her heart is in her throat as she looks over at Zuko in his red and gold sleeping robe. His thick dark hair falls loose down his back and he still wears his black eyepatch. He reaches for her in the dark and takes one of her hands.

Zuko mutters, "There is something I must show you."

* * *

Before she can even reply, he slides the wall open and takes her into a hidden passageway. 

With a quick turn, he slides another wall and takes her into a small room, a closet. 

He uses his bending to light the candles and pulls down a pine chest. 

Katara kneels down and runs her slender fingers over the fire lily motifs of the chest. 

"What is this?"

"Open it."

Katara opens the chest and begins taking out the various trinkets. The chest is filled with books, scrolls, a bamboo flute, pressed flowers, handwritten poems, and glittering combs and jewels. She runs her fingers over the remaining silks and notes that her blue and purple dresses were made from these same fabrics. 

Zuko speaks in a low murmur, "I bought this chest when I was a boy, I think 11 or 12. I pretended I didn’t know what it meant but I knew, I knew that I would give you these things after you became my wife."

She clutches the silks tighter to her as he continues speaking. 

"I want you to know that it was never anything you did. It was always me. I am not good person, nowhere near good enough for you."

She narrows her bright eyes at him. "Do you doubt the gods?"

"What? Why do you ask?" Zuko stammers. 

She gets up and approaches him. "If you think you are not good enough for me then you doubt them. It was the gods who brought us together so you are in fact, good enough for me. No better or worse than I am for you."

Katara stands on tiptoe and Zuko, understanding her intention, leans down for her to untie his eyepatch. 

She clutches the black fabric in her hand and looks at his damaged eye and the vertical scar going over it. In the soft candlelight, the eye is slightly milky but it is just as intense as his other eye, its beauty only flawed by a chip of blood in the golden sea. 

She closes her eyes, remembering the pain he-she-they felt when he received it. How she cried and screamed herself hoarse. Spellbound by it, by him, she opens her eyes and breathlessly declares, “It’s beautiful. You are beautiful.” 

His eyes flutter shut and he breathes, “Thank you.” 

Whether her bravery was fueled by alcohol or love or a combination of the two, she does not know but Katara cups his cheek, causing him to open his eyes and she professes her love for him. "I love you. I- I feel you in every part of me and I know you feel the same. I’m sorry that I ever tried to convince you or myself that I could live with you then leave you. Now that I’m here, now that I’ve seen your eyes, I know that I would die before I ever left you.”

Her husband smiles at her, a true and free smile. One of deep love and admiration. 

And somehow they are wrapped in each other's arms, her fingers tangling in his soft hair as their lips meet over and over again. 

The only thing in the world for Katara is Zuko's soft and warm lips against hers as his tongue draws out hers-all to the beat of her racing heart. 

His eyes seem to glow and he presses soft kisses to her jaw, neck, and ears as she runs her hands over his back, overwhelmed by his warmth.

In a firm voice, she says, "Zuko, I-I want to be with you."

Teasingly, in between kisses, he replies, "You are with me."

She reaches up and clutches the hair at his nape, locking eyes with him, blue hitting gold. 

Katara blushes furiously as she speaks, "Zuko, I've never...."

His hands are at her waist and he murmurs, "I know....it's okay."

* * *

On the bed, they take their time learning each other-running their hands and lips on each other's bare skin.

Zuko pleasures his wife with his mouth and fingers, smiling into her as she trembles and cries out beneath him, clutching and pulling at his hair. 

Katara is so warm and her skin is so soft, he feels dizzy as if he is drowning in her, and maybe he is. 

In a soft voice, she whines and begs and he kisses her fiercely, forcing her to look into his eyes as he enters her. 

Their bodies are slick with sweat as he whispers in her ear, panting out his love in the old tongue. 

Her nails dig into his shoulders and she wraps her legs tightly around him as she presses wet kisses on his neck. 

His mind is empty, in a haze of pleasure as they pound into each other, their rhythms perfectly in tune. 

When her breathing quickens and he feels her lose control, Zuko presses his mouth firmly on hers to hold in her screams. 

Zuko continues to thrust into her and moans when he finally bursts inside of her, feeling whole and free in a way he has never felt before. 

Spent and warm, he lays on top of her, pressing kisses on her breast as she runs her fingers through his damp hair.

In a soft but sure voice, Katara says, "Zuko, you are my home."

With a satisfied sigh, he lifts his head to look into her brilliant blue eyes. He feels the love he has for her in every single part of him. "And you are mine."

Later, he listens to her heartbeat as he drifts off to sleep and vows to do absolutely anything to keep her happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are married!!! I've read way more explicit stuff but this is the first time I've written anything this sexual so I definitely blushed as I wrote their wedding night. For those who are curious, I took inspiration from Thai, Japanese, Chinese wedding traditions and Avatar Roku’s wedding along with making some things up myself.


End file.
